There are some things we do that feel like coping, but if we’re honest… they’re lowkey making everything worse.
Not right away.
Not in an obvious, dramatic way.
But slowly.
Like dust gathering in corners until one day it’s everywhere, on your mood, your energy, your confidence, your relationships.
And the thing is, we need coping mechanisms. We all do.
Life is too heavy without them.
But not all of them are helpful.
Some feel like relief when they’re avoidance.
Some feel like strength when they’re just emotional numbness.
Let’s talk about the ones that sneak in and do more harm than good, so you can recognize them, stop judging yourself, and gently shift toward things that really help you feel better.
Here are 7 coping mechanisms that are making things worse (with honest examples + what to try instead):
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1. Scrolling Endlessly To Escape
A lot of us are guilty of this one, so I’m putting this on the top of the list.
You’re tired. Overwhelmed. Sad.
So you grab your phone and open Instagram. Or TikTok. Or Pinterest.
And suddenly two hours are gone and you’re still in the same mood, except now you’re drained, overstimulated, and comparing yourself to someone’s cozy kitchen in another country.
Endless scrolling gives your brain a short-term dopamine hit, but it doesn’t address your emotions.
It numbs you out instead of helping you release.
What to try instead: Pick something that engages your hands and quiets your brain.
Coloring. Journaling. Cooking. Cleaning one corner of your room. Something simple but grounding.
Try this: Anti-Anxiety Coloring Book for Adults
2. Bottling Up Everything Because You Don’t Want to Burden Others
This one feels like strength.
You tell yourself, “I’m being mature. I’m dealing with it on my own.”
But the truth is, holding everything in doesn’t make you strong. It makes you heavy.
People who love you want to be there for you.
You don’t have to trauma-dump on everyone, but even just saying, “Hey, I’m having a rough week,” can break the isolation spell.
What to try instead: Text someone you trust. Or write a letter you don’t send. Let something out.
Try this: Therapeutic Guided Journal for Processing Emotions
3. Overworking to Distract Yourself
I am so guilty of this.
Some of us hide inside our productivity.
We’re feeling anxious, heartbroken, insecure… so we throw ourselves into work, clean the entire house, and take on five new projects.
Being busy is a distraction.
It gives you a false sense of control.
But when the work stops, the feelings are still there.
Untouched. Unfelt.
What to try instead: Take a real break. Even 20 minutes. Go outside without your phone. Sit still. Let your feelings catch up to you. You don’t have to solve them — just let them be felt.
4. Isolating Because You Feel “Too Much”
Sometimes when things feel like a lot, we think we need to go it alone.
We cancel plans, stop texting back, and crawl into a bubble of silence.
It feels protective at first… but after a while, it gets lonely. And then you start to believe no one cares.
But they do. They might just not know you need them.
What to try instead: Reach out before you feel “ready.” Even if it’s just to sit in silence with someone. Or send a funny meme. Let yourself be seen again.n
5. Rewatching Old Shows for the 100th Time
Comfort watching is fine. We all do it.
But if you’re always rewatching shows you’ve memorized because you’re too mentally exhausted to try anything new… that might be a sign.
It usually means you’re stuck in survival mode.
What to try instead: Watch or listen to something inspiring or soothing, but new. Even a Ghibli film or cozy documentary.
Fresh inputs can spark fresh energy.
I highly recommend getting the Studio Ghibli DVD Collection (Box Set)
6. Online Shopping for That Tiny Dopamine Hit
You’re not buying out of greed.
You’re buying because you want something to look forward to.
A package. A new thing. A reason to feel better.
But that happiness fades fast, and the guilt (or clutter) often stays.
I’m guilty of this. I was on a binge buying Pompompurin merchandise and I realize that sometimes, I’m just trying to fill a void I didn’t even know existed.
It’s not your fault. But it’s also not fixing anything.
What to try instead: Create a “wish list” instead of adding to cart.
Or buy one meaningful, cozy thing that nourishes you long-term — like a soft blanket or a comfort book.
7. Pretending Everything’s Fine When It’s Not
Fake smiles. “I’m fine.”
Acting cheerful so you don’t make anyone uncomfortable. It’s exhausting. And it disconnects you from people who might actually want to support the real you.
You don’t owe anyone a perfect mood. You’re allowed to be messy. Tired. Quiet.
What to try instead: Practice radical honesty in tiny doses. Say, “I’m struggling today, but I’m here.” That’s brave. That builds real connection.
Just because you’ve used these coping habits before doesn’t mean you failed.
You were trying to protect yourself the best way you knew how.
Now that you see them more clearly, you get to choose again. Choose softness. Choose honesty.
Choose something that truly helps you come back to yourself.
You’re doing better than you think. And you’re not alone.
