I’m writing this post because I know what it’s like to spend Christmas alone. Back in college, I remember how I’d put up a pretty Christmas tree on my laptop wallpaper and listen to carols because I was in a country surrounded by people who didn’t really celebrate Christmas.
I missed my parents and I missed all the lovely food and sweets my mom would make for me. I missed home terribly and my exams always fell on Christmas.
When I entered my late 20s, I found myself single and celebrating Christmas alone again. I know how it gets to you.
If you’re spending Christmas alone this year, it can feel like the world is constantly reminding you of what you don’t have right now.
I want to say this first, before anything else.
Spending Christmas alone does not mean you failed.
It doesn’t mean you’re behind in life. It doesn’t mean you’re unlovable, forgotten, or doing something wrong.
Sometimes it just means… life took a turn this year.
Maybe relationships changed. Maybe distance happened.
Maybe grief, breakups, money, health, or boundaries made this season look different. And that’s totally okay.
Just because you’re alone, doesn’t mean you need to miss out on that Christmas magic.
This post is about making this day softer. Kinder. Less painful.
It’s about creating small pockets of comfort so Christmas doesn’t feel like something you just have to survive.
You’re allowed to build a version of this day that works for you, even if it doesn’t look like the movies.
So if you’re alone this Christmas, curl up here for a bit. Read slowly. Take what you need. Leave the rest.
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1. Let Yourself Grieve the Christmas You Thought You’d Have
When I lost my mom, I felt like I could never enjoy Christmas again. She was such a huge part of my life.
One of the hardest parts of spending Christmas alone isn’t the actual being-alone part.
It’s the quiet grief for the version of the holiday you imagined.
Maybe you pictured being with a partner by now.
Maybe you thought you’d be closer to your family.
Maybe last year looked completely different, and this year feels like a loss you didn’t ask for.
Give yourself permission to mourn that. Seriously.
You don’t need to rush past it or pretend you’re fine. Cry if you need to.
Journal about what hurts. Sit with the sadness instead of fighting it all day. Suppressing it usually makes it louder, I’ve learned that the hard way.
You could light a candle, wrap yourself in a blanket, and write a letter to the version of you who thought this Christmas would look different.
Say what you’re disappointed about. Say what you miss. Say what you’re afraid of. Then gently remind yourself that this one day doesn’t define your entire future.
If it helps, reading something comforting can make that emotional space feel less overwhelming.
A gentle book about slowing down, healing, or finding peace in quiet seasons can feel like a hand on your shoulder.
Something like Wintering by Katherine May or The Comfort Book by Matt Haig can be really grounding during moments like this.
I’ve gifted Matt Haig’s book to many friends going through times and I’ve always received a positive response.
2. Create a Soft, Intentional Christmas Morning Just for You
Christmas morning doesn’t have to be loud to be meaningful.
When you’re alone, you actually get to slow it way down. No rushing.
No expectations. No performing joy for anyone else.
Wake up gently. Don’t set an alarm unless you have to.
Make yourself something warm to drink, even if it feels silly at first. Hot chocolate with marshmallows.
Coffee with cinnamon.
Tea in your favorite mug.
For me, I like to drink the leftover eggnog while I watch some light holiday cartoon.
Let it feel like a small ritual instead of just another morning. Feel at peace with yourself.
You could put on soft music, open the curtains, and let the light in. Wear something cozy instead of “proper.”
Pajamas absolutely count as a Christmas outfit. If you want to make it feel extra special, matching cozy loungewear or soft pajamas can change the whole mood of the morning.
Something like a plush Christmas pajama set or fleece-lined socks can genuinely make you feel held, it did for me!
Eat something you actually like, even if it’s simple.
Toast with butter and jam or pancakes! A pastry you bought just for today?
I really enjoy a bit of rich plum cake.
3. Make Your Space Feel Like a Comfort Cocoon
When you’re alone, your environment matters a lot.
A cold, quiet room can make loneliness feel sharper. But a warm, cozy space can turn solitude into something almost peaceful.
You don’t need to decorate your entire home.
Even one corner can be enough. Fairy lights. A candle. A small tree. Soft blankets layered on your bed or couch. Dim lighting instead of harsh overhead lights.
This changes the whole atmosphere!
Scent is powerful too.
Lighting a candle that smells like vanilla, pine, or cinnamon can instantly change the emotional tone of the room. A soy candle with a warm holiday scent or battery-operated fairy lights are small things, but they make a big difference.
Think of it like building a nest for the day.
Somewhere you can sit, snack, watch movies, and just exist without pressure. You’re not trying to impress anyone.
You’re creating safety.
4. Plan a Comfort Watch List (Not Just Random Scrolling)
One mistake a lot of us make when we’re alone is letting the day dissolve into mindless scrolling.
Hours pass, and somehow you feel worse instead of distracted.
Don’t do social media during Christmas. It’s not going to help.
Instead, plan what you’ll watch ahead of time. Make it intentional.
Choose things that feel comforting, nostalgic, or gently distracting. Movies you’ve seen before are especially good because they don’t demand emotional energy.
Think cozy classics, childhood favorites, or soft holiday movies.
You could even recreate a “movie night” vibe with snacks, blankets, and low lighting. Watching something on a tablet or laptop from bed can feel extra comforting.
If you like reading more than watching, this is also a beautiful day to sink into a book you’ve been saving.
A cozy romance, a gentle memoir, or even a light fantasy can help you escape without overwhelming you. A Kindle or reading pillow can turn reading into a full-on comfort ritual instead of just another activity.
5. Feed Yourself Like You Matter (Because You Do)
Food can be complicated when you’re alone on holidays.
Some people skip meals because it feels pointless. Others overeat because they’re trying to numb feelings. Neither makes you feel great afterward.
Try to feed yourself with care, not punishment or neglect.
And if you’re not wanting to cook, order your favorite takeout!
Or make a simple pasta. Heat up soup and add bread on the side.
Bake something small if that feels soothing. Even a mug cake can feel special if you let it.
Using pretty dishes or a cozy tray can make eating alone feel intentional instead of sad.
A wooden serving tray, or this super cute gingerbread mug set can turn a simple meal into a small act of self-respect.
You’re not “just feeding yourself.” You’re taking care of a human who deserves nourishment.
6. Reach Out Without Forcing Deep Conversations
It’s easier to sit alone. But reach out to people if you can. Sometimes loneliness softens when you allow light, low-pressure connection.
Send a “Merry Christmas, thinking of you” text to someone you trust.
But don’t force yourself into conversations that feel draining or performative.
You don’t owe anyone cheerful updates or explanations about your life. It’s okay to keep interactions short and kind.
If social media makes you feel worse, step away. Replace it with content that feels warm and human.
Cozy YouTube videos, audiobook narration, or podcasts can fill the silence without demanding emotional energy.
7. Remember: This Is Not Your Forever
This might be the most important thing to hear.
This Christmas is not proof of how every Christmas will be.
This season is not evidence of your worth. Being alone right now does not mean you will always be.
Life moves. Relationships change. Seasons turn.
There will be other holidays. Other versions of you. Other rooms filled with sound and warmth and connection. Even if you can’t see them yet.
For now, your only job is to get through this day with as much gentleness as possible.
That is enough. You are enough. And the fact that you’re here, reading this, trying to care for yourself at all… that matters more than you think.
If you take nothing else from this post, take this.
You are not broken for spending Christmas alone. You are human. And you deserve softness, today and always.
Love,
Angela
