When I tell people that I was an only child from the Middle East, trapped in the apartment all day with 2 parents who had full-time jobs, they feel bad for me.
When I add that I was given a computer and TV and no limit on access to them because both my parents never spent time with me or spoke to me, they feel even worse.
It took me a long time to realize that, although my parents bought me whatever I wanted, I didn’t really have a good childhood growing up.
I spent my time playing videogames or reading, that’s how I learned about the world.
However, due to a genuine lack of communication with people or forming any sort of connections, I grew up socially stunted.
When I left the country to study, I met people for the first time, and I was excited to bond, make friends, and form relationships.
I loved being surrounded by people.
In time, I forgot how to sit with myself and be happy on my own again.
It was only in my late 20s that I realized that there is so much peace and contentment in being alone, too!
It’s definitely a balance.
And in this post, I want to discuss how I relearned to enjoy my own company and actually feel happiness whilst being alone.
If you’re in your 20s or your 30s and this phase feels confusing, heavy, or just really quiet in a way you didn’t expect, this post is for you.
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1. Stop Treating Alone Time Like a Placeholder
When you think of alone time as something temporary, like a waiting room before your real life starts, it always feels uncomfortable.
Try flipping that narrative.
Treat your evenings, weekends, and mornings alone as actual life.
Plan them.
Care about them.
Maybe cook something decent. Read something. Do a puzzle.
Life doesn’t start when someone joins you.
2. Create One Tiny Daily Ritual Just for You
Rituals make alone time feel intentional instead of accidental.
It can be a slow morning coffee, skincare at night, journaling for five minutes, or stretching before bed.
Just do something that brings you to a point of calm.
When your brain knows “this is my thing,” being alone starts to feel safe. And if your life has always involved a lot of instability, this can actually bring you to your centre.
A simple journal like Lined Journal can really help anchor this habit.
3. Learn How You Actually Like to Spend an Evening
Stop lookinag at social media and stop looking at aesthetics.
Ask yourself what actually makes you tick?
Maybe it’s watching comfort shows, reading, cleaning while listening to podcasts, or lying on the floor doing nothing.
Try different things until something sticks. Pay attention to what makes you feel lighter after, not just distracted during.
For me, that’s creating something usually or practicing piano. I also love, love, love learning.
4. Go Out Alone and Stay Long Enough to Relax
I have a post here on how to go out as a woman alone. It’s difficult in countries like mine, so I actually wrote this.
This is uncomfortable at first, I won’t lie.
Coffee shops, bookstores, parks, even movies.
The trick is staying past the awkward five-minute mark.
That’s when your shoulders drop and you stop worrying about how you look. Bring a book, or nothing at all.
A cozy read like The Comfort Book by Matt Haig is perfect for solo outings.
5. Make Your Space Feel Like It’s Made for You
Your environment matters more than you think.
When your space feels cold or chaotic, being alone feels heavier.
Add soft lighting, blankets, little things that make you smile.
One warm lamp or fairy lights can change everything. Something simple like Warm White String Lights can instantly soften a room.
6. Stop Filling Every Quiet Moment With Noise
A few of my single friends keep the TV on because they can’t stand to be alone with their thoughts.
Your thoughts are very important.
It’s your inner self trying to talk to you.
Listen.
Silence can feel loud when you’re not used to it.
Try leaving space sometimes. Just do something ordinary. Washing dishes. Folding clothes. Walking.
It’s uncomfortable at first, but it teaches you that quiet isn’t dangerous.
7. Learn to Cook One Meal You Love Making for Yourself
I’ve begun to realize that cooking is grounding for everybody.
Cooking for one doesn’t have to feel sad. It’s such a beautiful experience.
Pick one meal that feels comforting and doable.
Make it often. Put effort into plating even if no one sees it. That act alone says, “I’m worth care.”
A simple cookbook like Half Baked Harvest Cookbook can give you ideas that feel indulgent but easy.
8. Write Things Down When Your Thoughts Get Loud
Writing things down is free therapy.
And I’ve noticed that when we’re alone, our thoughts tend to talk more.
Sometimes they’re kind, sometimes not at all.
Writing helps get them out of your head and onto paper where they’re less overwhelming.
Don’t worry about grammar or sounding deep. Just dump it. Messy is fine.
9. Stop Waiting to Feel “Ready” to Enjoy Life
My father is one of these people.
All his life, he kept saying he’ll do things when he’ll retire. Now, he’s 71 and still putting things off or saying he’s too old to do things.
So many of us delay happiness until we feel healed, confident, thinner, happier, partnered.
You don’t need permission to enjoy small things right now.
Buy that beautiful outfit. Run that marathon. Take yourself seriously even if life feels awkward and messy.
10. Get Comfortable Doing Things Slowly
I’ve seen my friends rush through mornings, and I can’t for the life of me understand why.
I’ve been guilty of doing this too with my dogs. Sometimes, I’m in a hurry to walk them and they give me a look when they want to sniff for longer and I’m nudging them to hurry up.
It makes me pause and realize that I don’t gain anything by rushing.
When you’re alone, there’s no one to perform for.
That’s a gift. Walk slower. Eat slower.
Read without checking your phone every five minutes.
Let things take time. Slowness helps your nervous system calm down.
11. Move Your Body Gently, Not Punishingly
Movement doesn’t have to be intense to be helpful.
Stretching, walking, and dancing in your room counts. I love Grow with Jo workouts on Youtube, they’re so good!
When you’re alone, movement becomes a way to reconnect with yourself instead of proving something.
Yoga videos or simple routines paired with something like Yoga Mat for Home Workouts can make this easier.
12. Curate What You Consume
What you watch, read, and listen to affects how being alone feels.
If everything you consume makes you feel behind, lonely, or not enough, alone time will feel worse.
Choose content that feels calming or inspiring without pressure.
I have found that deleting Instagram, Facebook and TikTok did wonders for me.
13. Let Yourself Be Bored Sometimes
We don’t let ourselves be bored anymore.
We pick up the damn phone everytime life gets quiet even for 10 seconds.
And it’s okay to just not do anything for a while.
Not every day needs to be meaningful.
Some days are just laundry, eating random snacks, and sleeping early. That’s still life.
Stop judging yourself for having “nothing going on.”
14. Create Little Things to Look Forward To
A favorite show only you watch. A Sunday routine. A special dessert night.
When you know something pleasant is coming, being alone feels intentional instead of empty.
Also, it’s okay to set up dates with friends or just go to events by yourself and mingle.
I love doing that too!
15. Talk to Yourself More Kindly Than You Think You Should
Notice how you speak to yourself when no one’s around.
Would you say that to a friend? If not, then try softening your inner voice, even if it feels fake at first. It matters.
I’ve been so cruel to myself growing up.
I remember that every time I’d slip up or do something I’d deem embarassing, I’d cuss at myself or berate myself. It never helped.
16. Learn Something Just Because You’re Curious
Curioisty helps us grow.
Not everything has to be useful.
Learn to bake bread, draw, garden, or play around with a new hobby.
Curiosity fills space in a way scrolling never does.
17. Accept That Loneliness and Happiness Can Exist Together
It’s totally normal to feel lonely when you’re alone.
Sit with those feelings.
You can be content and still miss people.
Both things can be true. Stop waiting for loneliness to disappear completely before allowing yourself joy. It doesn’t work that way.
18. Make Your Evenings Feel Gentle
Lower the lights. Change into comfortable clothes early.
Create a soft landing for yourself at the end of the day.
19. Be Honest About What You Want Without Judging It
Maybe you want companionship.
Maybe you don’t right now.
Both are valid. Being happy on your own doesn’t mean you stop wanting connection.
It just means you’re not putting your life on pause while you wait.
This requires some self-introspection. So, sit down with a notebook and just write.
20. Practice Sitting With Feelings Instead of Fixing Them
Not every feeling needs an answer.
Sometimes it just needs space. Sit with it. Let it pass. You’re more resilient than you think.
I used to get angry with myself when I’d feel sad. I used to feel like it wasn’t the right way to think or feel.
With time, I let myself feel whatever I wanted to. And I sat with that discomfort. It did me so much good!
21. Remind Yourself That This Phase Matters Too
This version of you matters. One day you’ll look back and realize this quiet time shaped you more than you expected.
Don’t rush through it.
