Sometimes, life gets so loud, so heavy, that you can’t even hear yourself think.
You keep pushing through the noise—checking off to-dos, being there for everyone else, keeping up appearances—until one day you just… stop.
And in that stillness, you realize: You’re not okay.
Maybe you’ve been carrying something for too long—an old relationship, a job that’s draining you, expectations that don’t even belong to you anymore.
Maybe you feel stuck in a life that doesn’t feel like yours.
And even though deep down you know you need to let go, the thought of starting over feels scary.
It feels like failure.
Like admitting you messed up.
I’ve been feeling this heavy, dreadful feeling for a few months now.
So I thought I’d write about how I got through this.
I need you to know that starting over isn’t a failure. It’s one of the bravest, most beautiful things a person can do.
You’re allowed to begin again—even if you thought you were already supposed to have it all figured out.
You’re allowed to walk away from what’s hurting you, even if it once made you happy.
You’re allowed to take your time, change directions, and build a softer life, one tiny step at a time.
So here are 11 gentle reminders for anyone who’s feeling stuck, tired, or just quietly ready to choose themselves again.
You don’t have to explain it to anyone, okay?
You don’t have to prove anything.
You’re allowed to begin again—whenever you’re ready.
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1. You’re not behind, life isn’t a race
As an Asian, this is a reminder I need every single day.
It really feels like everyone’s moving faster than you, right?
Like everyone else is getting married, launching businesses, moving to Bali, or showing off their dream lives online while you’re just… trying to get through the day without crying in public.
But here’s the thing—nobody’s actually ahead.
Life isn’t some race with a finish line. You don’t win by getting there first.
You win by feeling at peace with where you are, even if it’s not where you thought you’d be by now.
Start again.
Slowly.
Quietly.
Messily.
You’re not late. You’re just moving at the pace your life needs.
This particular book really helped me through some tough times. It’s Okay That You’re Not Okay by Megan Devine
2. You don’t owe anyone the old version of you
Sometimes people expect you to stay the same because that’s who they’re comfortable with.
We change as people. It’s normal to change.
They may have known you as the funny one, the fixer, the dependable girl who always said yes.
And now, when you start setting boundaries or changing your mind, they act like you’re difficult.
But you don’t owe anyone consistency at the cost of your growth, it’s taken me a long time to realize this.
If you’ve outgrown your old self, let her go with love.
You’re allowed to change.
Evolve.
Be softer, quieter, stronger, whatever you need to be next.
This book I discovered via Goodreads and it was amazing! Untamed by Glennon Doyle
3. Choosing peace over chaos isn’t a weakness
Some people live in chaos so long, they forget what calm feels like.
And when you start to protect your peace—cutting out the noise, the drama, the energy drains—they might call you boring.
Or selfish. Or distant.
But peace isn’t a luxury—it’s a requirement.
You’re allowed to stop explaining yourself.
You’re allowed to step back from people who only love the loudest parts of you but disappear when you’re quiet and tired.
Your life doesn’t have to be on fire to feel meaningful.
Let calm be enough.
Read this post if you’re trying to cut out toxic habits from your life.
This particular book: Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach helped me understand how to accept myself for who I really am.
4. Resting doesn’t mean you’re lazy
You’re tired for a reason.
And no, you don’t have to earn rest by being productive all the time.
That’s not healing. That’s burnout in disguise.
Take the nap.
Cancel the plans. Go offline.
Do whatever you need to do to reconnect with your body and your heart.
You’re allowed to just be—without producing, fixing, or achieving something every second.
Rest is not a reward. It’s a right.
5. It’s okay to let go, even if it once made you happy
Not everything that feels good at one point in your life is meant to stay forever.
This is a very hard life lesson because sometimes we can get tangled up in our emotions and not be ready to let go.
And letting go doesn’t erase the good memories.
It just means you’re brave enough to make space for something better.
You don’t have to hate something to walk away from it.
You can love it and still choose yourself. That’s not betrayal—that’s self-respect.
This was the book that helped me make peace with this. Read: Goodbye, Again by Jonny Sun
6. You don’t need permission to begin again
So many of us wait for some kind of green light.
I have a few friends who will wait for a big neon green sign before making a major decision.
For someone to say, “It’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to want more.” But that permission?
It’s already yours.
You don’t need a big sign.
Or a breakdown.
Or rock bottom.
You can wake up one random Tuesday and decide: I want better than this.
And that decision alone is powerful. That’s the start.
I highly recommend going through this journal. I saw it in my favorite bookshop and I went through it. It helped me get more clarity in life. Start Where You Are by Meera Lee Patel
7. Your healing doesn’t have to look impressive
I get that a lot of us have to prove to everyone else that we’re making it in life.
And that’s one of the things I despise about social media.
Healing isn’t always glowing skin and sunrise meditations.
Sometimes it’s just staying off social media for a week.
Or not texting that person back.
Or drinking enough water and going to bed early even though you’re crying into your pillow again.
Life is all about the little things.
It’s messy and nonlinear.
And just because no one sees your progress, doesn’t mean it’s not happening. You’re healing even when it doesn’t look pretty.
I love Vex King and I’ve read all his books. This one though is my favorite: Healing Is the New High by Vex King
8. You can love someone deeply and still walk away
I’m writing this point because a lot of people I know are stuck in relationships where they don’t feel their best.
Many people feel that unless something becomes toxic, there is no reason to leave.
Wrong.
One of the hardest things is accepting that love alone isn’t always enough.
You can love someone so much it hurts, and still realize… you’re not growing.
Or you’re shrinking.
Or you’re just surviving, not thriving.
Leaving doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you care about yourself too now.
I recommend reading Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed
9. You’re not broken for needing to begin again
Please don’t think something’s wrong with you because you couldn’t make it work.
Relationships, careers, dreams—they shift.
You shift.
Life is made of many chapters, and starting a new one doesn’t mean you failed the last.
It just means you’re still writing your story, and you’re brave enough to turn the page.
10. Your softness is a strength, not a flaw
The world will try to harden you.
But starting over requires vulnerability.
Vulnerability is not weakness—it’s courage.
If you cry easily, feel deeply, and get overwhelmed sometimes… good.
That means your heart’s still open. That means you care.
And there’s nothing more powerful than a soft heart that keeps choosing to begin again.
11. You’re allowed to want a life that feels gentle
Not successful.
Not productive.
Not impressive.
Just… gentle.
You’re allowed to build a life that feels good in your body. One that doesn’t drain you every day.
One where the mornings feel safe, and the nights feel calm, and the people around you feel like home.
If you’re craving softness—it’s not because you’re weak.
It’s because you’re finally listening to what your soul has been asking for all along.
So if today feels heavy… if your heart is tired and your soul is whispering “Please, let’s try again”—listen.
You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You don’t need a 10-step plan. You just need a little bit of courage and a whole lot of kindness toward yourself.
If this post spoke to you, I think you’d also love my free Breakup Survival Kit—it’s filled with calming journal prompts, grounding reminders, and soft encouragement for the hard days.
You deserve a life that feels safe to come home to—even when everything else feels like a storm.
