I’m writing this post because this is something I have genuinely struggled with for such a long time.
Short story: I grew up as an only child, and my parents showed love in the ways they could at the time.
They worked a lot, so they bought me toys. Video games. Books. Cute things to keep me entertained indoors.
I wasn’t really encouraged to go outside or build connections the way other kids were, so objects became my world. They filled time. They kept me busy.
They kept the loneliness quiet.
That pattern didn’t end when I became an adult.
It just got prettier. I started buying kawaii figurines, puzzles, stationery, and books.
Every purchase came with this small rush, like okay, now I’ll feel better.
And for a moment, I did. But the moment passed quickly.
The shelves got crowded. My mind felt noisy. And I noticed something uncomfortable, I was spending so much time managing things instead of living.
Letting go didn’t happen all at once. It happened slowly. Donating things. Giving items away. Exchanging books instead of buying them. Choosing hobbies over purchases.
On the contrary, keeping less didn’t make my life emptier. It gave me more time, more space, and honestly, more happiness than I expected.
I’ve made so many friends in my 30s, I’ve started enjoying going outdoors, I spend a considerable amount of time taking care of my dogs and enjoying my hobbies!
This post isn’t about never wanting anything again.
It’s about understanding why the wanting feels so loud, and how to quiet it without forcing yourself into deprivation.
1. Realize That Wanting New Things Is Often About Emotional Comfort
I wish someone had told me this when I was younger.
Most of my shopping wasn’t about the thing itself. It was about comfort.
When I felt bored, lonely, overstimulated, or emotionally flat, buying something felt like doing something about it.
It was a way to self-soothe without having to sit with discomfort.
Once I noticed this, I started pausing before purchases and asking myself one simple question: What am I actually trying to feel right now?
Usually, the answer wasn’t “owning a new item.” It was feeling calm. Or connected. Or inspired. Or just less alone.
When you understand that wanting is often emotional, you can start meeting that need in other ways.
Writing. Walking. Calling someone. Even just resting without guilt. The urge doesn’t disappear overnight, but it softens.
I also add the item to my cart (mostly eBay and Amazon) and keep it there for 30 days. If I really want it after 30 days, I’ll buy it, otherwise I trash it.
This has helped me reduce my online shopping significantly!
2. Notice How Short the Happiness From Buying Actually Lasts
This was a hard truth for me.
The excitement of buying something new faded quickly.
Sometimes within hours. Sometimes the item didn’t even get used. I started noticing how often things went straight onto shelves or into drawers.
I remember when I was in Thailand and fell in love with Lulu the Piggy. It’s a kawaii character and all the miniatures were so beautiful! My suitcase was filled. The minute I got back home, I rearranged my shelves and made them full of Lulus.
After that, I barely looked at my shelf.
Once you see this pattern, it becomes harder to ignore.
You realize that the wanting is louder than the owning. And that chasing that high just leads to wanting the next thing.
Books like Goodbye, Things by Fumio Sasaki helped me see this without shame.
It was about recognizing how much mental energy stuff was quietly stealing.
I want you to close your eyes and think about how much time you spend maintaining your shopping.
For me, that’s dusting my figurines every 3 days, not having space for books or other items, worrying about packing it all when I move, it’s a lot.
3. Replace Shopping With Hobbies That Take Time, Not Money
One of the biggest shifts for me was moving from buying things for happiness to doing things for happiness.
Hobbies that didn’t require constant purchases changed everything.
Reading borrowed books. Writing. Walking. Learning slowly. Even sitting with a cup of tea and letting my mind wander. I also enjoy playing online games with my long-distance friends.
When your joy comes from time instead of objects, it lasts longer.
It also makes you more present. I stopped needing new items to feel stimulated because my days felt fuller in quieter ways.
If you like structure, something simple like Atomic Habits by James Clear helped me build routines that stuck without needing to buy more things to stay motivated.
4. Let Go of the Idea That More Stuff Means a Better Version of You
I used to think that if I had the right books, the right decor, the right tools, I’d finally become the version of myself I imagined. More creative. More calm. More interesting.
But objects don’t create identity. They just sit there waiting for you to become someone else.
When I stopped buying things for a future version of me and started supporting the person I already was, the wanting slowed down.
I didn’t need ten journals to become reflective. I needed time.
I didn’t need more books to be thoughtful. I needed space to read.
5. Give Things Away Regularly to Break Emotional Attachment
Happiness genuinely comes from making other people happy.
I no longer buy clothes unless I’m donating the same number of clothes away. I pack it all and just donate it to NGOs.
Donating unused items was uncomfortable at first.
So many of my clothes have never been worn, that’s how wasteful I was.
It forced me to admit how much I’d bought for reasons that didn’t last. But over time, it became freeing.
Letting go reminded me that objects aren’t memories. They’re tools. And if they’re not being used, they’re just weight.
Giving things away also changed how I shop. I became more selective.
I stopped buying “just in case.” I started asking, Will this actually add to my life, or just take up space?
6. Exchange Instead of Accumulate
We have bookstores here in Bangalore, India where we can exchange books for newer ones.
I love exchanging books now. It gives me novelty without clutter.
It satisfies curiosity without adding responsibility. Libraries, swaps, secondhand stores, these keep things flowing instead of piling up.
This shift helped me realize I don’t actually want ownership as much as I want experience.
Reading the book mattered. Owning it forever didn’t. And if I really wanted to read it again, I could always come back and get it!
7. Understand That Keeping Less Creates More Time
This was the biggest, quiet reward.
Fewer things meant less organizing, less cleaning, less deciding. My mind felt calmer. My days felt longer. I had more time to form connections, explore hobbies, and just be.
Keeping less didn’t make my life boring. It made it breathable.
A Gentle Ending
Wanting new things doesn’t mean you’re shallow or broken.
Sometimes it means you learned early on to use objects as comfort. There’s no shame in that. But you’re allowed to choose differently now.
I don’t suggest giving away all your possessions or adopting a strict no-buy mentality.
I do get that things bring us joy. I still value my mug collection (I had 40, now I have only 15 because I donated the rest away) and my book collection (I read about 200 books a year but donate or exchange the ones I’ll never read again) but I refuse to buy more and hoard.
For me, happiness didn’t come from buying less out of discipline.
It came from realizing that less gave me more time, more peace, and more room for real joy to grow quietly.
