There are days when everything feels still, but not the good kind.
You wake up and wonder if you’re falling behind. You scroll and feel like everyone else is doing something important while you’re… just existing.
Not achieving. Not becoming.
Not doing enough.
I’ve been there.
It sneaks up on you in quiet moments, right?
While washing the dishes, waiting for a text back, staring at your to-do list and feeling that gnawing ache in your chest.
That question: Am I wasting my life?
Let me say this first:
You’re not behind. You’re not broken. And you are not wasting your life.
But I get it. I’ve felt it too. And sometimes the weight of that feeling is enough to make you want to curl up and disappear.
This post isn’t about hustling harder or “fixing” yourself.
It’s about reconnecting. Softening.
Seeing your life through new eyes, and gently building small anchors of meaning that feel like you.
So here are a few things that helped me stop spiraling into that dark place — and maybe they’ll help you too.
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1. Redefine What “Wasting Your Life” Actually Means
Most of us didn’t choose this definition; it was handed to us, unfortunately.
We were told that to matter, we had to be successful, constantly improving, productive, inspiring, and busy.
So when we’re just… being human? We feel like we’re failing.
Try redefining “a life well lived.”
- What if it means making people feel safe?
- What if it means being present with your morning coffee?
- What if it means building something slowly, quietly, over years?
Write your own version.
I keep a lined journal like this one with the header: What makes a day feel meaningful to me? Y
ou’d be surprised how often it’s something simple.
2. Start Noticing Tiny Things That Make You Feel Alive
You don’t have to wait for a big dream or dramatic purpose to feel like your life matters.
Sometimes the most alive you’ll feel is barefoot in grass. Or when someone says, “I thought of you when I saw this.”
Keep a “joy tracker” in your phone or write it down. Did that first sip of tea feel perfect? Did the sky turn that soft lavender-pink at 6:47 p.m.? That counts.
Use a pocket notebook or the notes app and just call it little proofs I’m alive. It shifts things.
3. Create One Tiny Anchor in Your Day That Feels Sacred
You don’t need a full routine or a 5 AM miracle morning.
But having one small ritual (just for you) can help you feel grounded. It reminds your brain: this life is mine. I’m in it. I’m choosing.
It could be lighting a candle while you journal.
Making tea in your favorite mug. Taking a walk without headphones. I use a ceramic incense burner and light lavender incense every evening.
That one act changes how I feel about my whole day.
4. Stop Measuring Yourself Against People Who Are on a Different Path Entirely
Comparison is a trap, and the algorithm knows it.
I have so many friends who constantly are unhappy because they keep scrolling on Instagram/TikTok.
It’s so easy to look at someone’s career, relationship, house, or body and assume they’ve figured it out.
But fulfillment looks different for everyone.
Unfollow people who make you feel less than.
Mute accounts. Curate a feed that reflects what you want to grow into, not what makes you shrink.
Instead, read books that bring you back to yourself. I recommend The Comfort Book by Matt Haig, it’s soft, kind, and healing.
I’ve infact, gifted this book to many people including my partner’s mum.
5. Do Something Small and Creative Without Caring If It’s “Good”
Make something. Anything. Not to monetize it. Not to post it. Just because creating makes you feel real. Write a messy poem. Doodle. Take pictures of shadows. Cook a meal with too much garlic.
I used a beginner watercolor kit and painted little clouds in the corner of old receipts.
That felt like enough.
When you create without pressure, you remind yourself: I’m allowed to enjoy things. I’m allowed to make beauty, even if no one claps.
6. Reconnect with the Version of You That Felt Most Free
Think back, is there a version of you who felt joy more easily?
Who stayed up reading under the blanket?
Who danced in the kitchen?
Who dreamed of owning a bookshop, living in a cottage, writing poems?
You don’t need to “go back.” You just need to remember her.
What did she love? What made her feel brave or playful?
Bring back one thing from that time.
For me, it was journaling with simple pastel pens and building 3D puzzles. I bought a Rolife Baking Puzzle and it unlocked something soft in me again.
7. Accept That Feeling Lost Is Part of Living Fully
This feeling? The one you’re having right now, like you’ve missed the point somehow?
It’s actually a sign that you care. It means you want your life to matter. That awareness is a beautiful thing.
- You don’t need to fix it right away.
- You don’t need a perfect plan.
- You just need to stay curious.
Stay kind to yourself. And keep showing up.
Sometimes the most meaningful moments start in quiet places — like reading blog posts at 2 a.m., hoping for a sign that you’re not the only one who feels this way.
You’re not.
Want more posts like this? You might also love:
• 11 Books That Helped Me Embrace Slow Living (and Not Feel Lazy About It)
• 29 Calming Hobbies for Introverts Who Love Cozy Alone Time
• How to Combat Loneliness and Be Happy Living Alone
• 7 Coping Mechanisms That Are Actually Making Things Worse
• What I Did to Become That Girl – 11 Tips That Actually Work
• 25 Personal Goal Examples to Become 10× Better
• 13 Undeniable Signs Your Needs Aren’t Being Met + What to Do
• How to Date Like a High‑Value Woman
