Happiness is something we all strive for, yet for many, it seems just out of reach.
While life certainly throws curveballs, much of our long-term happiness comes from the habits we form.
You might not think doom-scrolling on social media will affect you, but it does.
These tiny habits add up.
Some people unknowingly adopt behaviors that keep them stuck in a cycle of negativity.
I know this because I’ve been there myself.
I’ve had moments where I caught myself falling into these patterns—comparing my progress to others, doubting my abilities, or dwelling on things I couldn’t change.
But the good news?
These habits aren’t permanent.
You can break free from them.
Let’s break down 11 habits of deeply unhappy people—and more importantly, how you can steer clear of them.
1. Constantly Comparing Themselves to Others
Ever scrolled through social media and felt like everyone’s life is somehow shinier and better than yours?
We’ve all been there.
Unhappy people get caught up in comparison, measuring their success and happiness against filtered highlight reels.
How to avoid it: Remind yourself that social media is a curated version of reality. No one posts about their struggles, their self-doubt, or their bad days. Celebrate your own journey and practice gratitude for what you have. And remember, you’re only seeing the best 5 seconds of someone’s day. We don’t know what struggles they’re facing.
2. Dwelling on the Past
Unhappy people spend a lot of time replaying past mistakes and missed opportunities, letting them define their present.
I used to do this a lot—rehashing old conversations, thinking about things I should have done differently.
But all it did was make me feel stuck.
How to avoid it: Learn from the past, but don’t let it control you. You’re not the same person you were years ago, and every day is a new opportunity to grow and move forward.
3. Holding Grudges
Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer.
Holding onto anger only hurts you.
I once carried a grudge for years, convinced that the other person needed to “make it right.” But guess what? They moved on, and I was the only one suffering.
My ex had cheated on me and I bore so much hate and anger towards him. In this post I talk about how I was able to let it go.
How to avoid it: Forgiveness isn’t about saying what happened was okay—it’s about releasing yourself from the burden of carrying that negativity.
Let it go for your own peace of mind.
4. Engaging in Negative Self-Talk
The way you talk to yourself matters.
Unhappy people are often their own worst critics, telling themselves they’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough.
How to avoid it: Pay attention to your inner dialogue.
Would you speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself? Challenge those negative thoughts and replace them with self-compassion.
5. Avoiding Change
Change is scary.
I used to resist it at all costs because I was afraid of failing or making the wrong choice.
But staying in your comfort zone out of fear leads to stagnation.
Being a somewhat introverted person, it took me time to step out of my comfort zone and make friends. I had to learn how to handle rejection but now I am so glad I did, because I am surrounded by some amazing people!
How to avoid it: Shift your mindset—change isn’t a threat, it’s an opportunity for growth. Even if things don’t go perfectly, you’ll learn something valuable along the way.
6. Surrounding Themselves with Toxic People
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
If you’re constantly around negative, unsupportive people, their energy will weigh you down.
How to avoid it: Evaluate your circle. Do the people around you lift you up, or do they drain your energy? Set boundaries with toxic individuals and invest in relationships that bring positivity into your life.
In this post, I talk about how to let a friend go without drama.
7. Neglecting Their Physical and Mental Health
Unhappy people often ignore self-care, whether it’s skipping meals, avoiding exercise, or neglecting their mental well-being.
I used to make excuses—”I’m too busy to exercise” or “I don’t have time to cook healthy meals.”
But prioritizing my health changed everything.
I feel such a surge of dopamine if I move my body. I even started going to the gym a few months ago and it’s changed my body so much. I have become so much stronger and I can see the difference in my mood.
How to avoid it: Take small steps. Move your body in a way that feels good, nourish yourself with healthy food, and seek help when you need it. Your mind and body are connected—take care of both.
8. Living Without Purpose
A lack of direction leads to feelings of emptiness.
It’s easy to feel lost when you don’t have something driving you forward.
I’ve been there—feeling like I was just going through the motions with no real purpose.
How to avoid it: Find something that excites you. It doesn’t have to be a career—maybe it’s a hobby, volunteering, or learning something new. Having a purpose gives life meaning.
9. Fearing Failure
Unhappy people see failure as the end rather than a lesson.
I used to be terrified of failing, but I’ve come to realize that failure is proof you’re trying.
I never hesitate to start a new website or business. I try to minimize the starting costs but other than that, it’s full steam ahead.
I love drawing and writing so it gives me joy when I’m able to share that with others.
How to avoid it: Shift your perspective. Every setback is an opportunity to learn and improve. Some of the most successful people in the world have failed countless times before they succeeded.
10. Overindulging in Numbing Behaviors
Unhappy people often try to escape their feelings through binge-watching, social media, or other distractions.
It’s an easy trap to fall into—I used to scroll mindlessly for hours instead of dealing with what was really bothering me.
I got the Kindle Unlimited membership.and I now read books on my phone instead of opening Instagram or Quora.
How to avoid it: Acknowledge your emotions instead of numbing them. It’s okay to feel sad, frustrated, or lost—just don’t ignore those feelings. Find healthy ways to process them, like journaling, talking to a friend, or therapy.
11. Waiting for Happiness to Come to Them
Unhappy people often think, “I’ll be happy when…” When I get the promotion, when I lose weight, when I meet the right person.
But happiness isn’t a destination—it’s something you cultivate every day.
How to avoid it: Find joy in the present moment. Happiness isn’t about waiting for something external to change—it’s about appreciating what you have right now.
Final Thoughts
If you recognize some of these habits in yourself, don’t panic!
Awareness is the first step to change. I’ve had to actively work on breaking some of these habits myself, and it’s made a world of difference.
Small, intentional changes in your mindset and daily routine can lead to a happier, more fulfilling life.
Which habit do you struggle with the most? Let’s chat in the comments! 💬
