How to trust the process and just let go

Last Updated on March 11, 2024 by Angela Vaz

All my life, I heard this phrase – Trust the process. But it never really stuck because I believed that our lives are completely in our hands.

I felt this line was for lazy people who didn’t want to take responsibility for their goals, be it in relationships, careers or something else.

But often, life throws you curveballs. And there’s very little you can do in the face of adversity.

Sometimes, you just have to let go.

There is no other alternative.

And this can make you feel very powerless. But in the last few months, I realised that surrendering isn’t weak. It’s a sign of strength.

It means accepting what has happened and moving forward with grace.

And in this post, I will be talking about how trusting the process can actually help you find peace, happiness and lead you to achieve your goals. It is the ultimate form of mindfulness.

But before that really quick, get my free guide on how to really reset your life.

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What is trusting the process?

Trusting the process is like running a marathon admist fog. You don’t know where the finish line is, but you have to trust you’re getting closer to it with every step forward.

Say you are suddenly faced with adversity. For instance, you lose your job, your dog dies, or your partner leaves you or something else that might shake your boat.

You are in shock for a while, and you’re in denial. But after some time, you make peace with it, and you start working toward healing from this event. You make a plan, and you are working towards a certain goal.

This particular period is going to be far from pleasant.

Because there will be days when you don’t feel like doing anything or you’ll feel like you’re going backwards.

This is when you need to trust the process and know for certain that things will be okay.

You will make it to the other side of the tunnel, and the sun is going to shine down on you again.

You cannot rush this phase, or question yourself every day. It’s only going to stir the pot and create a lot of anxiety.

Trusting the process means not questioning yourself or your methods every single day. It means accepting what has happened, letting go of the past and moving forward one day at a time.

The same theory applies when you’re working toward a goal that may seem distant.

Say you’re starting an online business, and you’re working towards financial freedom. If you’re putting your heart and soul into your work and know that you’re getting 1 step closer to your goal every day, you have to trust the process.

Here are a few books that helped me in my journey of trusting the process:

• The Power of Now – Eckhart Tolle
• Four Agreements – Miguel Ruiz
• Man’s Search for Meaning – Viktor Frankl
• You Can Heal Your Life – Louise Hay

Here are a few more books on self-love that really helped me with this.

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Why is it important to trust the process?

Okay, if you’re still not feeling it and want to understand why it is important to trust the process, keep reading.

1. Because you can’t live in the past or the future

Let’s face it. What’s happened, has already happened. You can’t change the past. And it’s the same with the future. You don’t know what it holds.

You only have today. You only have right now.

And that’s all that is within your control.

There is no point fighting the past or resisting the future.

You have to be mentally present.

2. You will be happier

When you let go of things that are beyond your control, and only focus on what you can control, you will be happier.

Why?

Because your expectations are within reason, and you are living in the now, in the present. And this will help you make every day count.

3. Your anxiety will disappear almost immediately

As a former overthinker, I can tell you for a fact – that the moment I adopted this approach and started trusting the process, I became so much calmer.

My anxiety disappeared almost overnight when I learned to let go and just accept the present for what it is.

I stopped overanalyzing, overthinking, and obsessing over every little thing.

4. Your life will become so much more simpler

If you are constantly overwhelmed and feel like you’re attracting every problem in the world, you definitely need to start trusting the process and letting go.

Once you do, your life will change for the better and become so much more simple.

5. You will make peace with impermanence

When you understand that life and everything in it are impermanent, you will find peace. Because no matter what you’re going through, you will know that it is not permanent and it’s going to change.

Bad or good, nothing ever remains constant. We are constantly changing, and so is the world around us.

What has to happen will eventually happen with little to no involvement of our own.

This particular mindset doesn’t set in easily. In the beginning, it will feel scary, but after a while, you’ll notice that you are so much more peaceful than before.

6. You will become a much better person

Trusting the process has helped me become so much more positive and patient. I now know that no matter what the situation is like, I will emerge out of it eventually, and I will find some resolution.

Every moment no matter how painful or how burdening will impart some sort of life lesson, and you will emerge a much better person.

I’m present with myself and I’ve never been happier.

7. You’ll find what you are looking for

You will usually find what you are looking for once you stop looking.

All my life, I had been hunting for love. I searched in all the wrong places, and once I stopped looking, I found it in myself.

I’m no longer frightened of living alone. Or facing the world by myself. I found strength, hope, and compassion in myself.

And it’s taken me a while to reach this point.

8. Life will no longer surprise you

There won’t be dramatic rises and falls in your emotions or your feelings. You won’t be swept by the tide every time something doesn’t go your way.

You’ll find yourself prepared for almost anything.

Now that we’ve covered some crucial reasons for trusting the process, let’s move on to how we can actually do it.

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How do you go about trusting the process?

It’s not easy for people who want to be in control of everything. But here are a few tips that helped me overcome my anxiety, let go and just trust the process.

1. It’s okay to be afraid

We all have fears:

• Fear of losing something we love deeply
• Fear of things not going the way we want
• Fear that something might go devastatingly wrong

This is normal. Acknowledge your fears. But understand that life is unpredictable. And what you have today, may not be with you tomorrow.

It goes both ways.

If you’re seeing tougher days now, better days will become tomorrow.

Nothing remains the same.

The second you learn to embrace the unknown, you’ve already begun to trust the process.

2. Focus on what you can control

You cannot control other people, other things, or other situations, so learn to focus on what you can control – yourself.

Every time you feel cornered or confused, get out a sheet of paper and write down a list of what you can do or change.

Once you have your list, work towards attaining your goals by taking action or doing the items on that list.

If you are doing everything you can possibly do, understand that you are doing your best. And now, the rest is up to fate.

Trust the process.

3. Enjoy the journey

When I started learning to play the piano, I was often annoyed that I was not getting better as fast as I’d hoped.

It took me 1-2 weeks to realize that I was impatient. And I realized that learning the piano is a journey. It’s not a skill that miraculously appears as if from nowhere.

I started being more patient with myself and just focussed on practicing for 30 minutes a day minimum.

And I started getting better. The speed doesn’t matter to me anymore, because I enjoy playing music.

I’m just taking it one day at a time.

Trusting the process means focusing on your progress, not the outcome. Because if you do work toward your goal every day, you are going to reach it!

And if what you do every day makes you happy, you don’t really need to achieve your goal to be happy.

4. Practise gratitude

We feel that life owes us happiness.

And anything else is just not fair or totally uncalled for.

How much time do we spend being grateful for all the wonderful things that happen to us? Hardly any.

I remember hurting so much when my mom lost her long battle with cancer. I often wondered why she had to leave us so soon. And then I spoke to a girl who’d lost both her parents at a very young age and practically raised herself.

My entire attitude towards life changed. I realized how lucky I was to have my mother until my adulthood. And she played such a significant role in shaping me to be who I am today.

Practicing gratitude can feel daunting in the beginning, especially if your heart is not it. But with time, it really uplifts you. And you’ll notice that your positive emotions outweigh the negative ones.

You can get a simple 5-minute gratitude journal like this:

5. Write

Every time I felt like I was down, I’d write. It didn’t matter where.

I’d either pen down my emotions in a journal or I’d write a letter to myself. Either way, writing really helped relieve me.

And writing letters to myself gave me great comfort.

I write a letter to myself every month, and whenever I need some consolation, I read those letters.

It helps me see how far I’ve come and how much has changed.

You may also like: How to write a letter to your future self

6. Be positive

No matter what is happening in your life, know that it is going to get better. Life has a lot of ups and downs, but you cannot let it get to you.

What matters is today, and today is all you have.

Focus on making the best of it and be positive.

Set goals that make you smile, that give you peace. And work towards them!

7. Failure is good

Every time you fail, know that you are only getting 1 more step closer to success. Failures are good – it means that you are trying and you’re making progress.

Nobody ever succeeds without having a few failures along the way.

I remember feeling like absolute garbage after my breakup. I wanted to do nothing more than crawl up into a ball and disappear.

For weeks, I did nothing but feel sorry for myself and mourn the loss of losing someone I really loved.

Until one day it hit me – why didn’t I love myself?

Why was I wasting my tears for someone who didn’t love me back?

I decided enough was enough. And I began a new life.

• I started going out and making friends.
• I started reading books on mindfulness, spirituality, autobiographies of the holocaust, and so much more that I’d never have read if it wasn’t for my break-up.
• I started becoming more mindful of wastage.
• I started working on a new eBook for my other Blog. The launch was a huge success.
• I invested in some drawing classes and became better at drawing.
• I started learning French and the piano.

In short, I started living.

I’m able to do so many things I couldn’t do months ago.

A whole new world opened up for me when I learned to let go of what I lost.

I don’t regret what’s happened to me, and I am super happy that I went through what I did because it made me more humble.

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Does trusting the process work?

As a person who’s constantly tried to control everything around her and then shifted my entire perspective and adopted this mindset, I can truly tell you that it does.

It makes you feel lighter and free.

You will actually feel more peaceful when you start trusting the process.

It’s a mind-shift.

If you are looking for resources to help you learn to let go or for peace, I highly recommend the following books:

• The Power of Now – Eckhart Tolle
• Four Agreements – Miguel Ruiz
• Man’s Search for Meaning – Viktor Frankl
• You Can Heal Your Life – Louise Hay

Final thoughts

Be present, be aware, and live in the moment. They call today “the present” for a reason. Today is a gift.

If you’re living in the past or in the future, you’re not really living. You’re just torturing yourself.

You’re worth so much more than what has happened to you. You are not your past.

You are better than who you were yesterday.

You have meaning. Your life has meaning.

Take courage, be open and live to the fullest.

If you haven’t reached where you want to be, trust the process and keep going. You will get what you want eventually. It’s all a matter of time.

I hope this blog post helped you in some way and brightened your day. If you feel like talking, simply leave a comment at the bottom and I’ll reply to every single one.

You may also enjoy:

• Learning to love yourself – The Ultimate Guide
• 29 Self Love Quotes to heal yourself right now
• How I combated loneliness and learned to love living alone
• How to get through a devastating break-up
• 25 Personal Goal Examples to become 10X better
• How to create a plan and stick to it
• 7 best books to read after a breakup
• 7 self love books every woman should read
• 43 self-love journal prompts to help you love yourself