Last Updated on June 4, 2024 by Angela Vaz

I’ve spent my life watching people.

As an only child who desperately needed company, I spent a lot of time observing and studying people so that I could make more friends.

For a long time, till my late teenage years, I was quite unsuccessful in maintaining friendships.

But when I left my home and started studying abroad – something changed.

I started making more friends, and my friendships were deeper. They weren’t surface-level friends.

With time, I realized that the more setbacks I faced, the more I could connect with people.

People become vulnerable with you when they feel like they can talk to you.

Becoming attractive to people isn’t rocket science.

I’ve experienced similar success when it came to dating.

I always took the initiative to make honest and open communication and met very nice people.

People are very much like open books if you know how to approach them.

And in this post, I want to share everything I’ve learned with you.

Let’s begin!

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1. Be a good listener

This is by far one of the most attractive qualities of a person.

You can quite literally up your personality by 10X by becoming a good listener.

It means listening with an open heart and mind when anyone is talking and asking questions to show you’re interested.

It helps people feel valued and respected, and it allows them to open up to you more.

This is the quality I attribute most of my friendships to.

I’ve been able to befriend men and women of any age by improving this quality.

Becoming a good listener also allows you to improve your knowledge because you learn so much about different areas of life just by listening to people talk.

2. Have a positive attitude

I don’t mean toxic positivity, but genuine positivity.

Instead of constantly complaining about bad stuff happening, try to take control of the situation and turn things around.

I sometimes get into a rut when I am in a bad situation.

And I remember how cheerful and bright my mum was despite her hardships; I recollect how people always looked up to her for inspiration.

And I find myself becoming more motivated actually to change my situation and get help.

When you’re positive, you become a beacon of light to others.

People want hope.

This world has enough suffering, remorse, and darkness.

What people need is inspiration.

So, become that.

People find you more enjoyable and approachable when you start seeing opportunities, even in darkness.

3. Practice good hygiene and grooming

Whether you’re a man or woman, dress well.

If you’ve not yet discovered your personal style, spend some time doing that.

But once you realize what works for you and gives you joy, spend time grooming yourself.

It isn’t superficial.

Dressing well and caring for your hair and skin shows people you respect yourself and are disciplined.

The way you dress tells a story. Your clothes and makeup show people you woke up early to do your hair and pick out your clothing.

When you dress well, your self-esteem goes up. This improves your confidence, making people eager to hang out with you.

A few tips that have worked well for me are:

  • Develop a unique dressing style – for me, that’s tropical clothing with very bright colors.
  • Wear a scent that compliments your personality: I love strong, warm scents with undertones of caramel and vanilla.
  • Maintain good skin, hair, and nails.

4. Become confident

I don’t believe in faking till you make it.

It still feels like we’re trying too hard for others.

I believe in developing inner confidence more for ourselves than others.

To become attractive to others, you need to be enough for yourself first.

This means finding inner joy and peace and being content by being yourself.

This is when you’re true to yourself and can be your most authentic self.

I’m not kidding when I say that this is the secret to becoming irresistible to others.

When you know yourself, you are comfortable in your own skin; you radiate a light almost irresistible to people around you.

Stop focusing on others and stop comparing yourself with others.

Just focus on yourself – strive hard to become a better version of yourself, and this confidence will glow from within you.

People will strive to become better versions of themselves around you because you will become an inspiration for others.

5. Be kind and empathetic

Being kind is easy enough to understand but a little difficult to practice.

It can mean being patient when you’re stuck in a long queue instead of nervously tapping your foot or muttering under your breath.

It can mean opening the door for a stranger or picking up someone’s belongings when they’re on the floor.

It can mean giving a stray dog some food or just saying hello to someone with a warm smile.

These are small traits that make a big difference to people.

I remember being at the vet when my dog was diagnosed with CKD. I was upset.

And just when I was beginning to slip into my own sad thoughts, I noticed a woman holding her dog in a cast. She was obviously distraught, so I reached out to her and told her that I hoped her dog would be okay.

She broke down and thanked me profusely just because I took 2 seconds out of my day to notice her pain and anxiety.

And I felt better, too, knowing that I wasn’t alone in my pain.

These small moments of being human pay off – you will be able to connect with others and feel stronger.

6. Do something that gives your life meaning

I know juggling work, responsibilities, and personal health is complicated.

It can be so time-consuming and complex.

But try to spend at least 30 minutes a day doing something that makes you happy and smile.

These 30 minutes can make life much better for you and others.

I wake up at 3:45 am because I want time to read in solitude.

Those 45 minutes in the morning before I start my daily routine are so precious to me; they set the tone for my entire day.

I absolutely love reading – it gives my life meaning, apart from writing and drawing, because I can learn something new each day.

You can also combine your love for something with a habit you want to practice.

Let’s say you’ve always wanted to paint or learn the piano; you can dedicate those 30 minutes to practicing that.

You can start a garden, learn to knit, or start photography.

Do something that makes your heart sing.

If you’re unsure what you enjoy doing, practice doing different things until you find something you love.

You can also take some courses on Domestika to learn something brand new!

7. Exercise regularly

I lived most of my life sedentary – I have good genes and metabolize my food quickly.

But just because I looked fit doesn’t mean I was.

I noticed the lethargy in my late twenties, which was scary.

I would be exhausted from climbing a few stairs, and I couldn’t keep up with my dogs when they wanted to run.

I knew something had to change.

When my friends implored me to exercise, my whole world changed.

I started working out and eating correctly, and I made more friends.

I started connecting with people who wanted to improve themselves and become physically active.

I now love walking with my friends; we even catch breakfast and a movie afterward.

When the quality of your life improves, you start attracting similar-minded people.

And this pushes you onto a better path automatically.

Moreover, exercise promotes better posture, skin health, and overall vitality, making you more attractive.

And believe me, just by employing these few simple habits, you’ll notice people wanting to get close to you.

Just give it a try.

And here are a few more posts you may like:

Angela is a 30 year old Illustrator and Blogger living with her 2 adorable labradors in Bangalore, India. She has a degree in Psychology and Human Relationships from the University of Toronto. When she's not writing her heart out or drawing, you'll find her sipping chai and reading non-fiction books.

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