Last Updated on October 31, 2022 by Angela Vaz
Life isn’t easy.
Especially as you get older, it seems to get harder.
And sometimes, it can feel like your head is just above the water, and you’re going to drown.
You feel overwhelmed, stressed, or suffocated.
And time and time again, you feel like you need to do something to change your life, but you don’t know where to start.
Or you wish you could rewind time so you get a second chance.
Can you relate to this?
Do you sometimes wish that life came with a manual?
For when you’re confused, angry, upset, or just hurt and want a solution?
I feel you.
In this post, I’m going to cover multiple tips on how to get your life together.
If you’re in a bad place right now, it’s okay. We’ve all been there. We’ve all felt this same feeling of hopelessness, anxiety, sadness, and overall gloom.
And it’s okay to feel this way.
I’ve divided this post into multiple sections so that you can start with changes to your mentality and slowly move toward making positive changes to improve your life.
This post contains affiliate links, meaning I may make a commission at no extra cost to you if you decide to click on a link and purchase something. Click here to read the full disclaimer.
How to get your life together by changing your mentality
Before I start belting out tips on how to get your life together, you will have to change the way you look at things.
Once your mentality shifts and you can see things from a brighter and positive perspective, you will be able to grasp all the tips in this post, and it will become easier to incorporate the changes.
Let’s get started.
1. There is always a solution to every single problem
When we go through a major life problem, everything can seem super dark.
It’s like being in the center of a hurricane and not being able to see anything except turmoil.
As bad as it may seem, there is always a solution.
And if the solution or result is not something you are hoping for, then there is a life lesson in there somewhere.
So don’t lose hope.
Just maintain your calm, and things will be alright. Everything is going to be okay.
2. Get out of the victim mentality
We’ve all been there.
We feel like the world is somehow against us, and we can’t understand why bad things keep happening only to us.
Bad things happen to everyone. It’s life.
Life isn’t easy, and we cannot move through it without getting an occasional cut or bruise.
The thing about hardships is that there is always something to learn from it. Always.
So, if things seem bad, don’t complain. Work actively towards a solution instead.
It’s okay to talk to friends and family about the hardship you’re dealing with, but if you’re going to complain every single minute of every single day and constantly berate yourself and your life, people are going to move away from you because people are attracted to positivity.
And no one wants to be around a Debbie Downer.
So, get out of the victim mentality and, instead of being part of the problem, become a part of the solution.
3. You are your atmost priority
All my life, I believed I was put on this earth to care for others – be it my family, my loved ones, or my friends. I lived for other people. I lived to nurture others.
Until one day, I found myself alone, and almost immediately, I felt I had no life purpose.
And that is when I realized that there is more to life than taking care of other people.
It is okay to prioritize yourself – to care for yourself and to live for yourself.
It’s not selfish. It’s not the end of the world.
The longest relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself.
So, be kind to yourself.
Care for yourself.
Learn to love yourself and enjoy this ride even if you’re riding it alone.
4. Quit overthinking
If you find yourself constantly overthinking, ask yourself if the thing you’re worrying about has happened yet. If it hasn’t, then there is no need to worry about it.
Cross your bridges when you come to it.
Suppose you are thinking about a problem that is currently happening, then write down what you can do to solve it.
Be as detailed as possible and make a plan. If there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, you have to wait and watch what happens.
Getting to this stage of being calm and not letting things affect you takes practice.
It doesn’t happen easily. But this book will help you make the transition.
It changed the way I think and reduced my anxiety. I make it a point to read it every single year.
Here are some posts that might help you with this as well:
5. Let go of things you can’t control
Easier said than done, I know.
But life is short. We cannot control what events happen to us. But we can control our response to them.
You are going to go through heartbreak, lose people you love, or lose a pet.
Nothing is permanent in this world.
And if you learn to let go and live in the present moment, you will be happier and find peace and joy in everyday things.
Here’s a detailed post to help you let go of the past and move on.
6. Count your mini-blessings
I’m not asking you to list down what you’re grateful for every single day. It’s impractical.
There are going to be days/weeks when you’re going through something hard, and you may not be in the mood to be grateful.
It’s okay – I feel you.
Sometimes, we go through intense emotional pain, and it’s hard to see the bright side of life.
But eventually, the curtain does lift and when you have good days, remember to be thankful for everything going right in your life.
It will extend your happiness and make you feel bright and happy.
7. Face your fears
You are going to face your fears one day. And you should prepare for it now than later.
One of my biggest fears was being alone.
I found myself single and alone at the age of 28. And it was daunting at first. Living by myself with literally no one around was scary.
It took me some time to make peace with it and learn to be happy living alone.
But I can finally say with absolute certainty that it’s not that bad.
Sure, there are days when I want to hear another human being talk other than myself or be around a human being – I do miss that.
But there are pros and cons to any situation, and I’ve learned to focus on the pros.
There is absolutely nothing you cannot figure out by yourself. As human beings, we are pretty inept and strong.
Focus on your strengths and face your fears.
Making positive changes to improve your life
Okay, now that we’ve tackled making a radical shift in our mentalities, we can start making active changes in our behavior to get our lives together.
8. Identify what you want to change in your life
If something in your life doesn’t feel quite right, figure out what that is.
Are you not happy with your job?
Work toward actively changing it. I had a friend who worked for a shoe company as a Social Media Manager, and she wasn’t happy.
Her true passion is baking. She eventually quit her job to pursue baking, and she’s so happy.
If there is something that you are not genuinely passionate about, attempt to do something about it.
Start a side hustle. Do your dream job on the side and once it’s making you enough to live on, quit your main job.
On Stray Curls, I teach women how to start online businesses and make money doing what they love – check it out if this is something you are passionate about.
9. Cut out toxic people from your life
A simple life is a happy one.
Often, we find that our lives have a lot of drama and negative vibes, and most of the time, it’s because of the people we surround ourselves with.
Making this one simple change will seriously improve your life tenfold.
I have a detailed post on how you can cut out toxic friends here.
You may also like:
- How to let go of the past when you feel like you can’t
- 13 toxic habits you have to cut out from your life to become happy
- How to radically simplify your life
- 15 ways to create a fresh start for yourself
If you are finding it hard to make friends, join the meetup app.
Discover local events around you and socialize.
Meet people who have the same interests as you and make friends with them.
It will make you feel good about yourself when talking about your likes and passion with like-minded people!
We, humans, are social creatures, and we do need regular human interaction because it feels good to be part of a society and contribute somehow.
11. Adopt minimalism
I’m not an expert on finances, and I used to be a bit of a shopaholic myself back in the day, but I felt tied down to my things, and I started adopting minimalism.
I’m still downsizing and getting rid of things I don’t use, but I’ve found that not buying things excessively really helps me focus on what is important.
Minimalism and decluttering are all about focusing on experiences rather than things.
And it will change your life.
You’ll feel more free, light, and happy.
Additionally, I keep an expense app that I log every expense in.
Focus on buying consumables rather than things. It will change the way you live!
12. Understand your spending habits
To make money, you need to save more money than you spend.
Keep an Expense app and log in all your expenses. Look at it at the end of the month and understand your spending habits.
Make budgets each month and try to stick to them.
It will really help you make more money.
Focus on saving at least 20-30% of your earnings. Invest in your future so that you won’t have to depend on anyone in case of an emergency.
13. Fall in love with being consistent
Absolutely no end-result worth something comes without long and grueling handwork.
Any expert you see will have spent 10,000 hours on that skill they’ve mastered. This is how it works.
You can’t become a guitar player in 1 day. Or a make-up expert in 1 month.
But if you sit down and practice something every single day, you will see results eventually.
Don’t focus on the end goal entirely.
Fall in love with the journey.
Fall in love with the practice.
Watch your progress month after month, and you will be so much happier and content.
Progress is better than perfection – remember that.
14. Be honest with people
Hurt people hurt people.
It took me a long time to understand this statement and put it into practice. For years, I took people hurting me personally.
And when I took my time to heal, I realized that most people don’t intend to hurt others.
They’re just trying to protect themselves from pain or get what they want, and they end up hurting others with the result.
And all of this pain can be avoided by just speaking your mind.
If something is not working for you, be honest with the person. Speak your mind. Learn how to communicate.
Do you want to end your relationship with your partner? Tell them. It will hurt less.
Do you want to talk to your mom or dad about something important, but you can’t find the courage? Tell them.
Be honest with the people you love.
It may be uncomfortable, but it will save both you and the other person from so much pain moving forward.
15. Don’t take things personally
Adding to what I said in the previous point, it’s important to understand that most people don’t hurt us intentionally.
So, don’t take things personally.
If someone says something that has hurt you, it’s often more about them than you.
Let it go and move on.
You can’t make everyone like you.
You can’t make everyone adore you.
And that’s okay.
Focus on the people that love you and like you for who you are.
Your life will be so much more simple and happy!
16. Learn to say no
Your time and energy are the most precious resources you have.
If you don’t feel like doing something, don’t do it.
Stop worrying about what other people are going to think or say. Be yourself.
If you want to stay in on a Friday night, then do it! Don’t say “yes” to your colleagues to go out for drinks if you don’t want to.
Every time you say no to something you don’t want to do, you’re saying “hell yes” to the things you love.
Learning to say no to people and doing more things you love will make you happy and more fulfilled in life!
Loving yourself and giving yourself more time
Most of our problems in life happen because we do not love ourselves enough.
When we begin to prioritize ourselves, we’ll say no to many bad people and situations because we value our peace of mind more than anything else.
So, in this section, I’m going to cover a few ways on how to get your life together by loving yourself more.
17. Be yourself
You aren’t put on this planet to please other people.
This is your life, and you’re given one chance to live.
Don’t be afraid to be yourself. You will attract people who are just like you.
If you find it difficult to find your voice, start by doing the things you enjoy doing.
Knit, go for a bike ride, trek, draw, play an instrument.
Discover your passion and start doing more of what you love.
Your true self will emerge.
I also suggest journaling because it’s a great way to introspect yourself and know who you really are.
18. Make time for yourself
Like I said earlier, the longest relationship you will have is the one you have with yourself. So, carve out time for yourself.
Many of us operate on autopilot because we are either working or commuting or engaged in some activity.
There is no time for our brains to wind down.
If you’re an early riser, carve out some time in the morning for yourself.
If you have a family, take some time off after your kids have gone to school or you’ve put them down for a nap and do something you enjoy.
Take a long and relaxing bath, read a few pages of a good book, and do something you enjoy doing.
It will help you rejuvenate your feel more alive.
19. Pick up a skill that you’ve always wanted to learn
I always wanted to learn the piano.
I’ve been fascinated with it ever since I was a child but never picked ups the courage to learn until I went through a bad breakup and decided to put my happiness first.
I got myself a keyboard and the SimplyPiano app and started learning for 30 minutes to 1 hour daily.
If you are worried, you’ll drop the habit, and practice for just 5 minutes daily. Slowly work your way up to 10, then 20, then 30, and so on.
Once 2-3 months have passed, the habit will automatically be engrained in your daily routine, and you can practice 5 days a week without worrying about forgetting to do it or losing interest.
I also love drawing, so I constantly take drawing classes on Domestika to improve my skills!
Life is short.
Has there been something that you wanted to learn but never did?
Take an online course! Learning has become so easy now, thanks to online courses. Use STRAYCURLS-10 to get an additional discount!
20. Slow down
If you are always preoccupied with work, family, and friends, your life may be too full.
It might be time to simplify your life and start cutting down on things so that you can breathe more.
Remember, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, it may be because you aren’t dedicating enough time to yourself.
In this case, slow down.
Journal your feelings, meditate, and take a walk in the park without any distractions.
21. Love with an open heart
Yes, people hurt us.
And holding onto grudges and hate is only going to affect us negatively.
If someone has hurt you, forgive them and move on.
Don’t let it ruin your ability to love.
Be kind, be open to new relationships and be positive.
No matter what you’ve been through, every person has had some role to play in your life.
It’s not easy losing partners, friends, pets, or family, but we all lose people we’ve loved.
Treasure who you have and give them your best.
You may also find these posts useful:
- The ultimate guide to getting over heartbreak and moving on from your breakup
- How to deal with intense emotional pain
- How I dealt with loneliness and learned to be happy alone
22. Remember that love lives inside of you, not outside
If you’re constantly sad and depend on other people to make you happy, ask yourself why you lack self-love and depend on others for your happiness?
When we increase our expectations of others, that’s when we face more disappointments.
Love exists within you.
You don’t need anyone else to be happy.
Focus on yourself and your journey first, and you will find happiness.
23. Allow yourself to feel
Part of loving yourself means accepting your feelings and emotions for what they are.
You’re not always going to be fine and dandy.
You will have bad days.
There will be days when you won’t feel like getting up from bed or days when you’ll have an existential crisis.
We all go through it because we have the ability to think and feel.
But it’s important to realize that you are not your feelings. You are not your emotions.
Whatever negative feeling or emotion you feel is temporary, and things will get better.
Watch your thoughts and feelings and just observe them for what they are. Don’t attempt to control it or stop it.
Just let it happen and observe.
This will allow you to become more self-aware and be present with your emotions.
I have started meditating, and it really helps with this. I use guided meditation, and it has really changed the way I react to my emotions.
It’s made me calmer and less anxious and really helped me get my life together. Please give it a try and see the difference it makes.
Excellent habits to adopt to help you get your life together
Learning to love yourself takes a while, but there are a few habits you can start incorporating into your daily routine to help you get your life on track.
Take your time with these and try to do a little bit each day.
It will certainly make a difference to the way you live, and you will find so much peace and joy.
24. Wake up early
I started sleeping early and wake up early, and it changed my life. Taking a walk with my pups while it’s still dark has become my new sacred routine.
I can see the sunrise, and there’s something about being awake when almost no one else is that makes you feel so alive and one with nature.
There is nothing like that peace and quiet.
I feel alive and energized as compared to when I used to wake up after 7.
It does take some time to get used to. Give it a shot and see if you are a morning person.
25. Fall in love with lists
You have no idea how much time lists save and how organized they can keep you unless you’ve actually tried it yourself.
I live on planners and lists, and I make one every morning to help me realize what I need to do during the day. I have a separate work planner for my blogging work.
But my to-do list includes multiple activities and tasks that I must finish no matter what – including my health lists, my skincare, and if I need to cook anything or buy anything.
I keep separate lists for groceries, books I need to read, movies I have to watch, people I need to check up on, and so on.
I don’t have an excellent memory, so lists help me stay super-duper organized.
Give it a shot; you won’t regret it.
26. Do the most important tasks in the beginning
Identify your most important tasks and eat that frog!
Don’t leave it for the end of the day when you’re going to be tired and lethargic. There is a good chance you will push it to the next day.
When you finish your most important tasks, you will feel a huge wave of productivity and motivation that will help keep you going for the rest of the day.
Here are some more posts to help you become more productive:
- 7 quick ways to maximize your productivity
- How to stick to your routine even when you lose interest
- 13 easy hacks to feel more energized throughout the day
27. Break down your goals into mini-goals
If you want to become fit and healthy, draft down plans to make that dream a reality.
Break your big goal into mini-goals and start working toward them every day actually to hit that goal.
28. Live in the moment
Don’t live in the past or future.
Most of the things we worry about have either already happened or not happened.
And if you’re caught up in the past or are constantly worrying about the future, then you’re not living at all.
Learn to focus on the present moment and enjoy your life.
You will be so much happier and so content.
You will become more productive, and not only your life but others around you will also change for the best!
Take it one day at a time, and focus on the present.
29. Sleep on it
If you’re angry or upset, never react immediately.
This is one tip my mom drilled into my head as a child because I was an angry child growing up.
And I will always be grateful to her for that piece of advice.
You don’t think straight when you’re angry. You aren’t rational. There is a scientific explanation for it too.
But please, take time to calm down and think about the situation with a cool mind.
You will become wiser, patient, and more respectable.
30. Make time for your priorities
Take a bit of time to prioritize the things that are important to you.
And once you have a list, spend time on your priorities.
If your family is a priority, actively spend time with your family daily—schedule time to play with your kids, talk to your partner, and so on.
If your career is your priority, schedule more time to work. But remember to make time for self-care; otherwise, you will burn out.
Spend your life doing things you love and things that are important to you.
31. Be your own cheerleader
Sometimes, you’ll have to motivate yourself to do the things you want to do.
You may not have support, and that’s okay.
Believe in yourself every single day. Actively draft out a plan for each goal and follow it to the bone.
Write down your accomplishments and keep them in one place.
Whenever you need a pick-me-up, go through your accomplishments, and you will instantly feel motivated!
Here are a few more posts to help you fall in love with yourself:
- The ultimate guide to loving yourself
- 29 self love quotes to help you heal and love yourself
- 43 self love journal prompts to help you fall in love with yourself
- 7 self love books every woman should read
Improving your health to help you get your life together
Last and most importantly, your health should be one of your top priorities.
The quality of your health will define the quality of your life. And for a long time, I neglected my physical, mental and emotional health because I thought it wasn’t important.
I thought it would fall into place someday.
But I was wrong.
You have to actively take care of yourself and make changes to the way you eat, sleep, and operate to better your health.
32. Make changes to your diet
Don’t do this drastically – you’ll find it very difficult to adapt to your new diet.
The food we eat is almost directly responsible for the way we feel. What goes in comes out in some way or the other – be it our moods, our energy, or our skin.
I’ve been suffering from acne all my life, and this year, I finally decided to do something about it.
My acne is hormonal, and I know that the food I eat contributes significantly to my acne.
So, I am minimizing dairy and incorporating more healthy greens into my diet, and I do feel better. I feel more alive. I am also consuming antioxidants like green tea, and it’s helping me feel more energized.
Read a little bit about food or consult a nutritionist and figure out what foods work best for you.
If you eat right, you can sort out or prevent multiple long-term diseases.
33. Cook more meals at home
Not only will you save more money, but your health will improve drastically.
Cooking is therapeutic and is a form of self-care.
It’s an excellent skill to learn especially if you live alone. Prep and make your meals during the weekend so that you don’t have to cook for the whole week.
I keep easy recipes in my notes app, so I can whip up something quickly if I want comfort food asap.
You will know what ingredients you’re putting in your body, and your health will improve dramatically once you start cooking at home.
34. Move more
Our bodies get rid of a lot of toxins via sweating. And it is important to exercise for 30 minutes 5 days a week.
Working out helps your brain release more endorphins, and you will feel happy and energized.
As a person who honestly hates exercise, this was so hard for me to incorporate. I now take my dogs for a 1-hour walk every morning, and it’s helped me feel so good.
Cleaning and doing chores also count as exercise!
If you can find a friend to work out with you, that’s even better!
Find ways to move your body. Join a dance or yoga class, go for brisk walks, lift weights while you watch the television, and get up every 45 minutes from your desk to get a drink of water.
35. Get enough sleep
Everybody’s body is different.
And everyone needs different hours of sleep. If you feel comfortable with 9 hours, so be it. Sleep for 9 hours.
If you can function with 7, then that’s wonderful. Get 7 hours of sleep.
Experiment with different sleep cycles. I’m an afternoon nap kind of person.
I like napping for an hour in the afternoon. It refreshes me and keeps me going. Plus, I love any excuse to hug my sleeping pups. There’s no better feeling than holding my older pup while having my younger one drool in my hair.
I know I’ve mentioned many tips in this post to help you get your life together and ditch overwhelm.
It’s not humanely possible to try and incorporate everything in 1 day. The easiest way to go about this is to focus on one area of your life at a time.
Incorporate more good habits each day and slowly work your way to a better life.
I wish you nothing but the best!