Last Updated on July 11, 2024 by Angela Vaz

Do you know whom I’m talking about?

The women who aren’t necessarily drop-dead gorgeous emit a radiant positive light that’s almost irresistible.

You genuinely don’t know how they do it.

It’s almost as if:

  • Nothing gets them down.
  • They’re always willing to see the positive side of things
  • They have struggles, but they face them boldly.

And you want some of that light to rub off on you.

You want to be that positive light that people are drawn to.

This was my mom.

She was so bright and beautiful (with a positive attitude) that people found her charming.

mama and me
My mom and me

And once I started uni, my roommate was this person.

I never understood why people were drawn to them, but I wanted to know how to become that person.

It’s taken me years to learn and incorporate their habits into my life.

But once I did, I noticed the benefits almost immediately.

My life improved – my problems didn’t go away, but I developed a new attitude towards life.

I make friends (both girls and boys) so quickly now, and it feels surreal.

I want to share this with you, so grab a cup of hot cocoa (with marshmallows), and let’s dive in.

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1. They go with the flow

As someone who has always wanted to control the situation, I found this a hard habit to adopt.

But with time, I realized it’s easier to go with the flow than always fight the world.

Sometimes, bad things happen.

And at that point, you need to ask yourself if you can do anything to remedy it.

  • If yes, make a plan – step by step and take action.
  • If not, you must make peace with the situation and go with the flow.

But if you fight it, deny it, or simply stress it, you’ll only destroy your well-being.

Learn to take things in your stride.

And watch how life transforms for the better.

2. They have a morning routine they love

This doesn’t happen in a day.


I’ve spent years crafting a morning routine I love.

It takes a while, but it’s worth it.

Because you may not have control over every area of your life – but your morning routine is ENTIRELY yours.

And that gives you power.

You don’t have to follow YouTube tutorials to follow someone else’s routine. Make one that works for YOU.

Do something you love in the morning – this will motivate you to wake up early and claim those few extra minutes for yourself!

For instance, I love to read.

So, this motivates me to wake up 30 minutes early to squeeze in some reading before I get to my chores.

Likewise, let’s say you want to draw/play the piano/dance.

Do it in the early hours when nobody else has woken up – it will make you feel alive.

Enjoy that quiet time, and do not open your phone or scroll on social media.

This also gives you a burst of energy that will help you stay focused and motivated the entire day.

Because your morning routine will set the mood for the entire day – I urge you to keep it simple.

Focus on grounding yourself.

You can also meditate, journal, and do some light stretching.

This will help you build some good habits and help you stay consistent and productive.

3. They know when to quit/leave negative situations

Women who are happy know to draw boundaries.

They take on as much as possible and gently (but firmly) refuse to take on more.

This applies in every area of life.

  • Work: They will do as much as they can and gently tell their coworker/boss they can’t take on more because they won’t be able to do justice to their pending work.
  • Friends: They will hang out/talk as long as it doesn’t intrude on their personal life; they know how to say no without feeling crappy.
  • Family: They respectfully draw boundaries with their family so that both parties can live harmoniously.

More than drawing boundaries, they know when to quit.

Happy women won’t put up with toxic people/situations. They’ll remove themselves from the equation when they notice that their energy is being drained.

4. They don’t harbor anger or resentment

Happy women know that people are flawed.

They give people second chances when they deserve it, but if they cannot mend bridges – they peacefully walk away, knowing it’s not about them.

Let’s say you have a friend – who always crosses their boundaries with you. They make you feel horrible about yourself and constantly put you down.

If you’ve tried talking to them and explaining how you feel and it still doesn’t remedy the situation – the only thing to do is walk away.

You needn’t hold anger or hatred in your heart – because their character/habits aren’t about you.

They haven’t healed from their past traumas, and the best thing to do is let them go peacefully and move on to better people who will appreciate them and value them more.

Your peace of mind is way more important.

5. They use their hands more

Happy women live in the present moment.

They aren’t bothered about convincing people that they live a good life. They don’t necessarily use their phones or laptops that much.

They’re happy and content doing simple things like watering their plants, petting their pets, and working on their crafts/hobbies or doing chores in the house.

Give it a shot and see the magic.

Bake, sew, knit, draw, cook or work on a small project and see how happy and fulfilled you feel afterward.

It’s a scientific fact that the more we use our hands, the happier we become.

6. They are very mindful

Have you noticed how easy it is to advise people who face problems?

But when you experience the same problem, seeing the situation with that clarity becomes almost impossible.

This is the superpower of being mindful.

And one way to be mindful is to meditate.

Meditation allows you to observe your life from a distance more objectively.

It allows you to zoom out and watch the situation from a distance without getting carried away with your emotions and feelings.

Meditation changed my life.

I have realized that life is transient and constantly changing – only because I started practicing this simple, transformative habit.

Spend a few minutes each day in meditation or deep breathing exercises. Self-reflection is equally essential.

Regularly assess your habits, goals, and feelings.

This practice can help you identify what’s holding you back and find strategies for moving forward if you ever get stuck.

7. They focus on their health

All my life, I’ve been a couch potato.

I am pretty productive, but I’ve never experienced the kind of happiness and activity that I do now.

Moving more genuinely killed my lethargy.

It has made me feel more alive.

My skin is glowing, and my hairfall has been reduced drastically.

I used to be a massive tea/coffee drinker, but I can now manage just one cup a day!

A tiny morning walk with my pups, followed by a light treadmill walk, gives me an energy boost that lasts till the afternoon.

I’ve never been this person – who enjoyed moving, but now I look forward to it.

It’s tough initially, but you’ll feel entirely different within a month.

Incorporate any movement in your day.

  • Please park your car a bit further and walk to it.
  • Take the stairs when you can.
  • Dance in the kitchen while you’re preparing a meal you love.
  • Sway your hips when vacuuming or air-strum while listening to rock music.

Honestly, be creative.

Do something you love – playing hoops, swimming, aerobics, or lifting weights, go for it.

Most people exercise for health reasons or want to look fit, but they continue exercising because of how it makes them feel.

Those endorphins quite literally charge you!

Consistency is vital, so make it a non-negotiable.

And watch how you increase your happy hormones and dopamine!

8. They take it one day at a time

They know that nothing is permanent.

Be it problems or achievements.

They don’t let anything get them down.

I was very frustrated when I struggled to start my own online business years ago.

Things weren’t looking good, and I was dipping into my savings – I knew I was running out of time, and that anxiety nearly killed me.

Until one day, I woke up and realized that my anxiety wasn’t going to help. At all.

I was working every day and doing everything necessary to grow—I just had to be patient and take it one day at a time.

This mantra has helped me even when life was hard.

I realized that I needed to trust the process.

We have no control over the past or future, so worrying incessantly about it won’t help you.

The only thing you have control over is your PRESENT.

9. They know self-care isn’t selfish

It doesn’t matter if you have kids, family, or a hectic lifestyle.

It’s no reason for you to work to the bone.

It is only going to burn you out and leave you exhausted.

You must take care of yourself – sometimes, that means pampering yourself or spending quality time alone.

It is what will help you recharge.

Permit yourself to rest every day, even for just 20-30 minutes.

Don’t attend phone calls or work – rest.

10. They prioritize spending quality time with people/animals

They value experiences and memories.

So, instead of always buying things to make them happy, they try to spend more quality time with people/animals.

They know that this gives them a much-needed serotonin and oxytocin boost, making them feel more happy and content.

All my life, I’ve loved books/toys/games.

I still spend on them (don’t get me wrong) but I have decreased my spending so much because I value spending time with people more.

I no longer spend on decor or clothes unless needed.

  • I’ll club going to the bookstore with my partner or girlfriends.
  • Or I’ll get a board game that I can play with my friends.
  • Or I’ll play with pups and cuddle with them.

These experiences give me unimaginable joy. And it makes me see life so much differently.

11. They are very organized

Happy women are very clear about their lives and their wants.

They know they cannot focus if their house is messy or their desk is in disarray.

They put away things they don’t need and keep things that motivate them in plain sight.

For instance, many women work on a clean desk with just their monitor and a few precious items/stationery.

It helps keep the mind distraction-free and also motivates them to work.

Likewise, if you organize your closet, you’ll treasure your clothes more and spend less time deciding what to wear.

BONUS: They give themselves grace

Happy women don’t beat themselves up when they fail.

Because they constantly do things, they know that failures are bound to happen.

They understand that this process is necessary to do something great.

So, when they have a temporary failure, they give themselves grace and try again afterward.

They never accept defeat.

They cut themselves slack, maybe mourn the failure for a bit and jump back onto the horse.

They know that berating themselves isn’t the answer because they are human after all and mistakes happen.

Learn to give yourself grace by reading this post.

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Angela is a 31 year old Illustrator and Blogger living with her 2 adorable labradors in Bangalore, India. She has a degree in Psychology and Human Relationships from the University of Toronto. When she's not writing her heart out or drawing, you'll find her sipping chai and reading non-fiction books.

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