Sometimes, the thing you want most will not come to you and your patience will be tested.
At least, that’s how I felt with love.
My whole life, I’ve wanted a life-partner and felt incomplete.
Having been in 2 relationships for a whole decade and suddenly finding myself single at the age of 28 left me feeling like I’m back to square 1 again.
And I’ve had to learn how to patiently wait for love.
It wasn’t easy and it definitely took some getting used to.
I am no longer in a rush or am putting my whole life on hold while hunting for Mr. Right.
And having done the exact opposite before, I can tell you that being patient and not forcing love will leave you much happier and content.
If you are single and are looking to understand how to wait patiently for love to find you, then keep reading.
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What does it mean to wait patiently for love?
It means not putting your life on hold or stopping for every man to see if he’s your soulmate.
It means not holding on to imperfect partners because you’re scared of being alone.
All of this is going to simply increase your anxiety and you’re going to jump into the possibility of a relationship with the next person that is nice to you.
They may or may not be right for you.
And forcing yourself to stay in bad relationships is only going to make you unhappy and unfulfilled.
Being single doesn’t mean you are incomplete or unworthy. Please know that.
Do not base your self-worth on your relationship status.
You are whole. You are complete.
Remember, if you need another person to feel whole and happy, it means you’re basing your whole life purpose or happiness on another person.
That is extremely unhealthy and will put extreme pressure on you to find someone else to complete you.
Nobody can make you happy if you’re not already happy.
The love you need is inside you. Love isn’t found outside.
Being single simply means you haven’t found the right person yet. That’s pretty much it. So, learn to love yourself while you’re single.
And open your heart to the possibility of love in the future.
How to wait patiently for love?
1. Work on yourself
This sounds like such cringe advice but here’s the truth.
Love is something you cannot control. You may not meet your future partner this month or this year.
It doesn’t mean that you should pause your life and wait for him while not doing anything.
Live your life. Enjoy your single life.
Make yourself happy.
And work on yourself.
Practice self-love. Meditate. Write. Pick up an interesting hobby that makes you happy.
Have something to live for. Work on making your dreams come true.
Learn to be content with what you have.
You won’t get this time or this opportunity again. Your hands will get full once you do find a partner or your life progresses.
You wouldn’t want to pick a partner who was sad, desperate, lonely and miserable, would you?
Likewise, be the person that you’re looking for.
Become whole, complete, and happy!
Spend this time doing things that genuinely make your heart sing. Make every moment count.
And when the time is right, your future partner will walk into your life.
2. Learn to be happy alone
I always say that the longest relationship you will have is the one with yourself.
And since that is the case, you need to learn how to be happy alone.
Learn to enjoy your own company and take pleasure in the fact that you have so much time to learn who you really are and what you are really into.
This is an opportunity to improve your skills, learn so much more about yourself – your wants and your needs and to become a better person.
Learning to be happy alone will greatly impact your life because you won’t need another person to fill your life.
Please note that I said need and not want.
It’s perfectly wonderful to want a partner, as long as it’s not a need.
Learning to be happy alone will give you the confidence and panache to attract what you really want.
People are attracted to positive, happy, and confident people. So focus on making your light super bright.
3. Don’t force it
Falling in love can’t be rushed or forced.
It is a beautiful thing that happens when it happens.
You can’t tell yourself, “I must find a partner and be married by the time I’m 30.”
It doesn’t work, unfortunately.
You may not be ready. Or your future partner may not be ready.
It’s great to know what you want, but setting unrealistic expectations for yourself or your life is not healthy.
There are some things that are outside of our control and the more we learn to accept that, the happier we will become.
So, let go of all the expectations and just learn to be happy on your own.
Instead of focusing on finding your partner with every second you breathe, focus on things in your life you can control.
4. Know your wants and needs
While you’re waiting for love, take this time to know what you truly want in your partner and what kind of relationship you are looking for.
Make a list of the characteristics you want in your partner and write down what core values you want them to have like:
- What are the qualities I want in my partner?
- What are the things I absolutely refuse to compromise on in a relationship?
- Do I want children?
- How can I become a better person to attract the person I want?
This will help you understand if the person you are dating is right for you or not.
And you will be less willing to compromise on what is important to you and what you really are looking for.
If you’ve just gone through a breakup, don’t get on the dating horse.
Otherwise, you’d be dumping all of your pain and your issues on the person you date next.
How do you know if you’ve healed from your breakup?
You won’t have any negative feelings toward your ex and can picture them with someone else and not feel pain or anger.
You will feel light, free, and happy and be okay with life in general.
That’s when you’ll know you’re ready to date again.
If you’re not in a good place, refrain from dating. Take some time to yourself to understand who you are and what you want.
Heal from your pain.
Let go of all of your grievances before you start looking for a partner.
6. Take things slowly
It can be very tempting to jump into a relationship all too quickly when we meet someone we really like.
But that’s not how love works.
Sometimes, people can be nice or you may like them a lot, but they may not be right for you.
And it takes a long time to get to know someone and understand who they really are.
Dating is data collection according to Breeny.
Take your time to understand who the person really is and what their values are in life.
Watch for red flags and ask yourself if you and this person are really compatible with each other.
Going slow will help you understand both of your limitations and help you stay on the same page when it comes to moving forward or not.
7. Let go when you know it’s not right
If you’re a people person who is positive and optimistic, this is going to be a challenge.
Sometimes, you may really like a person and want to make it work, but if you can see that both of you are incompatible with each other, then it may be time to walk away.
It’s easy to see potential in every single person you like, but you need to be careful.
The minute your gut tells you to walk away because you feel something isn’t right or you know that you and this person aren’t going to be happy in a relationship – walk away.
Don’t buy time when you know in your heart it’s not going to work out.
Learn to let go of relationships or people that don’t fulfill you so that you can make room in your life for something better and more beautiful.
These posts will help you:
Remember, a little pain today is much better than a whole lot of pain in the future.
8. Live in the moment
Learn to live in the moment and not always live in the future or the past.
We only have so much time in this world and we only have control of the present – not the past or the future.
Take it one day at a time and you will be so much happier.
Focus on the present moment and be thankful for each day you have.
Life isn’t a race.
Trust the process and you’ll find peace in your life and existence.
9. Understand that your life is beautiful even without a partner
It can be very difficult to see this especially if you’re really avoiding being single and want a partner at any cost.
I know the feeling because I’ve been there.
But you must understand that your life is beautiful and worth it even though you are single.
It takes some time to see it, is all.
The media has distorted the idea of being single and has made us believe that life without a relationship isn’t all that great.
But this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Your life is meaningful without a partner. Because it’s your life.
And you are important. You don’t need a partner to make your life meaningful. You don’t need to be attached via the hip to someone to make you happy.
The person you’re going to be with isn’t going to magically make all your problems disappear.
They’re not going to save you from a tall tower or cure your depression.
A partner adds to what is already there.
So, learn to fall in love with yourself and your life before you look for someone else to complement it.
If you are unhappy, figure out what is causing you to feel that way and fix it before you find your future partner.
Make yourself happy. Be the person you want to find.
10. Trust the process
If you’re working on yourself, loving yourself, and keeping your heart open, then you’re already on the right path.
Continue to be kind, open, and honest and love will definitely find you when you least expect it.
Trust the process.
Just keep going.
And things will definitely work in your favor, if not today, tomorrow.
Is it worth waiting for love?
I believe waiting for love is worth it because you’re not keeping your life on hold or being unhappy while you’re waiting.
You’re simply living life whilst keeping your heart open to the possibility of finding love in the future.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to find true love or wanting to spend your life with someone.
It’s admirable, selfless, and beautiful.
Practicing how to wait for love patiently isn’t easy.
It cannot be learned in one day and there will be hard days where you will feel like everyone else has their partner and you don’t or others are luckier than you because they found love and you didn’t.
This is totally normal.
But it is important to focus on what you do have and this is the only way you can find true happiness.
Remember, the love you need lives within you.
If you have recently found yourself single, here are a few more posts to help you:
- 13 signs of unrequited love and how to let go
- How to love yourself while you’re single
- How to stop letting things bother you
- The ultimate guide to getting over heartbreak and finding happiness again
- 35 honest ways to get your life together
- How to trust the process and just let go
- How to live alone and not be lonely
- How to let go of the past
- 15 ways to get a fresh start this year
- How to create a plan and stick to it