Last Updated on September 30, 2022 by Angela Vaz
You feel like you have this need to be with someone.
You want to be in a relationship so badly that you find it hard to focus on anything else.
You’re constantly fantasizing about being in a loving relationship and you can’t help but feel like you’re missing out when you see couples all around you.
Is this a normal feeling?
Or are you just falling off the tracks?
In this post, I am going to talk about why you want a girlfriend so badly and have such a strong desire to be in a relationship.
I will also talk about what to do if you are in that situation right now.
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Is it normal to want a girlfriend?
You’re a human being with needs.
Just like how every human being needs food, water, and a house, most human beings will crave some sort of relationship throughout their lives.
While some people are perfectly happy being single, most aren’t.
They genuinely want to be in a relationship, and that’s okay.
So, don’t condemn yourself for having healthy needs and wanting to be in a relationship with a woman. It’s perfectly alright.
However, there’s a caveat.
The reason why you want a girlfriend must be legit – this will ensure that you actually find someone that has the same goals and visions as you.
Because if you want a girlfriend for the wrong reasons, you aren’t going to find happiness.
It is just going to be a temporary fix before you’re craving something else again. Chances are you might not even find the right person if you are in a hurry.
For instance, if you want a girlfriend because you absolutely cannot manage to be alone, then you are desperate for love.
It means that you are looking for love outside of yourself and you feel deep down that nobody can love you.
This will attract the wrong kind of women.
Trust me when I say, that insecurity attracts insecurity.
You need to be okay being single and you need to be okay being alone.
Being single simply means that you haven’t found the right person yet.
And that’s alright.
Some people find love at 18 and some find love 54.
There is no right age or deadline for finding love.
Just keep this in mind.
Let’s dive deeper.
12 Reasons why you want a girlfriend so bad
1. You have been single for too long
Maybe you’ve spent your whole life by yourself and you are really looking forward to sharing your life with someone.
You’ve been single for a long time and you’ve had relationships but they just never stuck.
But you know that this is what you want and you’re really looking for the right person to spend your life with.
This is a totally valid reason to want a girlfriend and be in a loving and committed relationship.
Maybe you’ve had a successful career or have gone through multiple life stages single and you now want to share your life with someone.
And that’s okay.
This is a perfectly good reason to want a girlfriend.
2. You are lonely
There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely.
Please know that getting a girlfriend is not going to cure your loneliness.
Every human being has to face being alone at some point.
My dad lost my mom to cancer and he had to learn to live a life without her at the age of 67. It is hard but he’s taking it day by day.
When you enter a relationship, know that your girlfriend is not going to spend every waking minute with you.
Both of you will have to compartmentalize while learning how to live together.
You have to learn to live alone and not be lonely before you think about getting a girlfriend.
This is a life skill we all have to learn before we enter relationships.
This will help us not put a huge emotional strain on our partners when we enter relationships.
If you try to date when you are lonely, you are going to attract just that:
- Lonely, insecure women who have an anxious attachment style
- Women who will forever be by your side and not give you breathing room
- Women who will not understand you when you want to pursue your dreams or do something of your own
- Jealous or toxic women who will never entertain the thought of you talking to anyone else
So, if you’re lonely and desperate to get into a relationship just because you feel that having a girlfriend will cure your loneliness – don’t.
Take some time to learn to be happy being alone.
This will not only make you more confident but also make you more appealing.
You will attract positive partners who are looking for someone who is just as secure and confident as they are.
3. People are mocking you for being single
If you are tired of people mocking you and making fun of you for being single, eventually you may feel the need to prove them wrong.
I know what the feeling is like.
I remember being very timid when I was in school and I had classmates teasing me saying I was going to be an old, single cat-lady.
It’s quite normal to be driven over the edge by taunts but please recognize that this is not a valid reason to want a girlfriend.
It is a negative feeling created out of anger and resentment.
So, you shouldn’t cave to it.
Otherwise, you’re basically going to do something that you don’t want to do. This will lead to poor decision-making.
4. Society is putting pressure on you
Maybe you’re in your late 20s or 30s.
And by now you’re watching everyone around you enter relationships, get married, and have kids.
So deep down, you feel like a clock is ticking.
You don’t know why you aren’t finding that person and you feel like you need a girlfriend.
I remember finding out when my partner was cheating on me.
I was suddenly single at 27 and I felt like I was racing against the clock. The only reason I wanted to date was that I felt like I was lagging behind.
Please know that life is not a race.
Like I said earlier, we all find love at different ages. And that’s okay.
Society has corrupted our views of love and relationships.
I found love when I was almost 30.
Everybody has their own set of unique challenges.
Maybe they might find love at 18 but they may be broke till the age of 35. Or maybe they found love at 25 but they may be struggling with a life-threatening disease.
We don’t know anyone else’s problems but our own.
We cannot rush love.
So, please don’t try to compare your life with others and force things to happen when you aren’t ready. It’s not going to fare well for you.
5. You want to share your life with someone
If you are genuinely a very selfless person and you want to share your life with someone, then this is a very good reason to enter a relationship.
Maybe you want to explore life with someone else and share adventures with them.
Maybe you want a buddy or a friend and you genuinely want to go through life’s ups and downs with a partner.
This is a beautiful reason to want to enter a relationship and have a girlfriend.
If this is you, then your needs are healthy.
6. All your friends have girlfriends
I know a lot of people that get into relationships just because they feel that they’re the only ones in their friend circles that are single.
If you want a girlfriend because you’re tired of going to events as a single person while all your friends have partners, then don’t get one.
This simply means that you want a girlfriend to keep up with your social circle. The relationship is not going to fulfill you and will give you temporary happiness.
It can be very tempting to go along the flow and strive for something just because it’s the “norm” but trust me when I say that this will not make you happy.
7. You need validation
A part of you feels like you don’t belong and you just aren’t sure whether you’re living up to your potential.
You feel like having a girlfriend will help you feel better about yourself.
In a way, you’re looking for validation.
You just want someone to love you.
This is one of the most common reasons people want to enter relationships – to feel good about themselves.
But please know that if you are feeling incomplete and unwhole, then you need to fix that.
Your partner should not complete you. They should be whole and as should you.
Both of you should feel complete with yourselves and at the same time want to spend life together.
I was always under the preconceived notion that I needed a man to feel whole.
But it was only when I discovered that I could love myself, that I realized a man is just an addition.
Remember that – this will help you find someone who’s wholesome and has a great deal of self-worth.
8. You want a life partner
Maybe you’re looking to share your life with someone. You want to start a family and you want to live a life with another person.
You want companionship, love, and someone to share all your experiences with.
This is a beautiful and noble reason to get into a relationship.
9. You can’t get over your ex
A lot of people feel empty and broken after a breakup.
They were so used to being in a relationship that nothing makes sense anymore. They can’t get used to the silence – the feeling of not being wanted anymore.
So, they search desperately for a partner.
But please know that if you’re not healed and you’re not over your ex, you’re going to get into a relationship for all the wrong reasons.
This will also lead to you picking anybody who shows you even a smidgen of kindness because you are vulnerable and not thinking from a place of clarity.
It will also make it harder for the person you are dating because you are going to end up dumping all your emotional baggage on them.
It is important to heal and move on from your ex before you enter another relationship.
This will ensure that you are choosing to be with someone of your own accord.
10. You want to get back at your ex
Maybe you broke up but you’re now filled with envy and rage.
You feel that you deserve love and your ex doesn’t. Or maybe you’re sad that your ex moved on to someone else while you’re still sitting waiting for love.
Like I said before, life is not a race.
If your ex has moved on, then make peace with it.
Do not compare your life with theirs and try to compete with them.
This will just lead you to make bad choices and you’ll end up being with the wrong person due to hasty decisions.
Heal, and get over your breakup.
Move to a place of calm and peace and then begin dating.
Take your time.
11. You need to prove to yourself that you’re worthy
Sometimes, we grow up with parents who never give us love and affection.
This childhood trauma can leave us desiring more.
What happens is, instead of filling that void with our own love, we look to others to replenish it.
We keep searching desperately for someone to love us so that we can feel whole and worthy.
And trust me, this type of feeling only attracts predators and unwanted guests.
You may even attract a narcissist because these kinds of people prey on innocent people who are insecure about themselves and need a relationship so badly.
That’s why it is important to recognize what kind of childhood you’ve had and then heal and love yourself before you think of entering a relationship.
12. You want that feeling of love, companionship, and warmth
You’ve done it all.
You’ve seen the world. You’ve finished accomplishing most of your goals.
You now want to settle down and you want to do it with someone you love.
You’re looking to spend your life with someone who has the same goals and values as you do.
You want a friend, a partner, and a person you can trust to call your own.
In this case, yes, you definitely should give in to your wants because you are ready to enter a relationship and be with someone who loves you.
Is it worth having a girlfriend?
Honestly, if your reasons for wanting a girlfriend are genuine and you feel you will not only make a good partner for her but you will have someone to share your life with, then yes.
By all means, you should pursue having a girlfriend.
There is no better feeling than being in a relationship with someone who really loves being in a relationship.
However, if the reasons are external and not something you genuinely want, put it off.
Because more often than not, most people want to be in relationships because they’re lonely.
Please know that it takes a lot of time, commitment, and energy to be in a relationship.
And if you do that at a young age, you aren’t going to learn a lot of life lessons or be able to grab other opportunities – it will slow you down. It is hard to make a relationship work when both people in the relationship aren’t emotionally and mentally mature and both want different things.
As we grow older, we learn to communicate better.
We learn what exactly makes us tick and because we know ourselves better, we are able to choose someone who is compatible with us.
This leads to being in mature relationships where both partners deeply love and respect each other.
Love isn’t a fluttery strong chemical reaction.
It is a decision that you need to stick by once you choose someone.
Entering a relationship takes time and a lot of dating.
Dating is data collection where you get to know a person more and more as time goes by.
This is why it is important to ask yourself if you are truly ready for a relationship before you decide to get into one.
Will I ever get a girlfriend?
Yes, if you genuinely want to be in a relationship for all the right reasons and you are willing to be patient till you meet the right person who is:
- Compatible with you
- Has the same goals and visions as you
- Respects and loves you just as much as you do her
Then you will most definitely find a loving partner sometime in the future.
Dating takes time.