Last Updated on October 31, 2022 by Angela Vaz
And you honestly don’t know what to think.
He wants to date other people.
You never expected him to say that and now that he has, you’re unsure about what to do and what to say to him.
In this post, I want to talk about what you need to know about this and give you multiple options so you can make the right decision for you – going forward.
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What do you do when he wants to date other people?
1. Understand that it’s not about you
Please don’t go down that path thinking that there is something wrong with you or that you’re not enough.
It’s not about that.
At this point, all he is thinking about are his needs.
And at the moment he has decided that he wants to see multiple people at the same time.
Please know that you can’t change people.
Everyone has different needs and different desires. It’s just something that’s innate.
2. Appreciate his honesty
A lot of men who want to see multiple women at once are dishonest.
They are polyamorous or don’t want a relationship with just one person.
They don’t want to risk losing you so they lie.
But your boyfriend trusted you and told you that he wants to date other people. So, kudos to him for saying that.
3. Ask yourself what your needs are
This is something that takes time.
Our needs change.
And this relationship has given you enough perspective and time to figure out what you want and don’t want.
So, ask yourself if this is something you can consider.
Are you okay with him seeing multiple partners at once? If so, then here is a book that is written by a polyamorous person who explains how to go about it.
Or are you a monogamous person who prefers that your partner be monogamous as well?
If you fall in the first category, talk to him.
If you fall in the second, then you need to make up your mind and let him go.
4. Know that a relationship takes 2 people to make it work
You cannot have a relationship with a person who has completely different needs and desires as you have.
Just because you like/love him, doesn’t mean you can make a relationship work.
If you both want different things, then you need to let him go so that both of you can find partners that will make you happy.
It’s just what it is.
If you try to force him to be with you or manipulate the situation in any way, it is only going to lead to deep resentment and misery for both of you.
You cannot be in a relationship with someone who desires more.
It is just not going to work.
It definitely hurts when we anticipate that we will be with someone forever. But as we grow up and mature, we realize that all we can focus on is today.
We never know what tomorrow brings.
5. End it amicably
If you have decided that this is not your cup of tea and you’d rather be with someone who wants to be with only you, then let him go.
It’s going to hurt and it’s going to take some time to get over the hurt and loss.
Please know that this is okay.
You’re doing the right thing by letting him go.
And even though it may hurt right now, know that you are taking the right step to find peace and love in the future.
You will never find the person you are meant to be with if you hold on to someone who isn’t right for you.
Be honest when you talk to your boyfriend.
Tell him that you love him but you both have different needs so you’re going to end it. Explain that this is just not what you want right now.
Be completely and totally honest.
And end it with peace.
6. Know that you can love someone and still let them go
Please know that feelings don’t go away immediately.
You can like someone or love them and know that they are not right for you.
We are human beings – not switches that can go on and go off.
Don’t let your love or feelings for him prevent you from making the right decision.
It’s going to be alright.
And eventually, with time, you will be able to move on.
7. Pat yourself on the back
This relationship has given you so much insight into your needs and his. Infact, it has brought you closer to finding the right person for you.
You now know what you really want and you probably know what to say when you start dating again.
When I was dating, I would always lay my cards on the table and declare what I was looking for right from the start.
I was never dating for casual relationships, I was always looking for a long-term commitment.
Whenever I’d realize that either the person I was dating or I wasn’t headed in the same direction, I’d end it.
It’s definitely hard. But it gets easier with practice.
Dating helps you realize what your needs and wants are and the more you know yourself, the easier it is to find what you are looking for.
I hope this post helped you understand what both of you need and want right now and helped you in some way make a decision.
It’s not easy to make peace with the fact that he wants to date others and it will take some time for you to let go.
But know that you are moving forward if you make this difficult decision.
I wish nothing but the best for you.
If you do decide to end the relationship, please take a long break from dating.
Heal, and get over the hurt so that when you get back to the dating game, your hurt and pain won’t leave you vulnerable.
You should be confident and strong when you start dating again – this will help you find the right person.
Here are a few more posts that might help:
- How to patiently wait for love
- Will I ever find love? Read this
- 27 subtle signs he will never let you go
- When is enough enough in a relationship? 17 signs it’s time to walk away
- 13 signs you are healing from a breakup
- 11 relationship killers to watch out for
- How to love yourself while you’re single
- How to stop letting things bother you
- You love your boyfriend but want to date other guys, what do you do?
- The ultimate guide to getting over heartbreak and finding happiness again
- 35 honest ways to get your life together
- How to trust the process and just let go
- How to live alone and not be lonely
- How to let go of the past
- 15 ways to get a fresh start this year
- How to create a plan and stick to it