Last Updated on June 28, 2022 by Angela Vaz
You’re confused at the moment.
You’ve been happy for a while in a relationship.
But things are no longer as easy as they used to be.
Everything is great, but lately, you’ve been feeling restless.
You’ve started noticing other guys and you’re really curious how you’d feel dating them.
You want to start dating again but you’re not single.
You love your boyfriend and care for him and you don’t know what to do next.
In this post, I’ll guide you as to what you should do and how you can proceed if you are in this position.
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7 important things to consider if you want to date other guys but you still love your boyfriend
1. Your needs are no longer the same
Know that you and your boyfriend may care for each other and may be in a very loving relationship but you will have to acknowledge that your needs are now different.
It happens in a lot of relationships and it’s okay.
People change and so do their needs.
Your boyfriend still wants a loving, committed relationship and you don’t.
There is nothing wrong with having different needs.
Identify what exactly you want.
If you have decided that you really want to date other people, make sure that this is what you really want.
The first step is to identify your needs and then realize that you and your boyfriend no longer want the same thing.
2. Know that a relationship cannot work if both of you have different needs
If you and your boyfriend have different needs and/or values, your relationship is not going to work.
Just like how a marriage cannot work if 1 partner wants children and the other doesn’t know that this relationship will never work out.
For a relationship to work, two people must want the same things and be happy.
You cannot be in a relationship when you’re secretly craving something that your boyfriend doesn’t.
It is going to end up with you building deep resentment (if not now, then later) and one or both of you will get your heart broken.
3. Realize the difference between love and care
There may have been a time when you truly loved your boyfriend and you both wanted the same things.
But things have changed and that’s okay.
Nobody is in the wrong here and you don’t have to feel guilt or shame for wanting something different.
But know that you no longer love your boyfriend.
You may still deeply care about him but you no longer have romantic feelings for him if you want to date other people.
4. Let him go
If you really want to start dating other people, then you should let your boyfriend go.
It isn’t fair to him or you if you continue to be in a relationship when you know deep down that you both want different things.
It’s not going to be easy.
You have been comfortable being in a relationship for a while and it’s nice to have someone to come home to, so there will be a small upclimb there.
But being dishonest about your needs and wants is not fair to him or you.
You will end up wasting your time and his. And in the end, his feelings are going to be hurt.
So, if you really do care for him and want what’s best for him, give him a chance to find someone that wants the same things that he does – a loving and committed relationship.
Doing this will help you achieve emotional maturity.
5. Talk to him
Realize that you now have 2 options:
- Be honest with your partner and end the relationship
- Continue to be in a relationship with your boyfriend and either be unhappy or cheat
If at all, you choose the second option, whether you cheat or not, you are going to break his heart eventually.
He will eventually find out that you are either unhappy with him or you don’t see him as a significant partner.
This will not only lead to severe trust issues in future relationships, but it will also hurt him on an emotional level.
The best thing to do is, to be honest with him.
Explain to him that your needs have changed and you would like to end this relationship.
Be gentle and kind but honest.
It will hurt, but the pain is far less as compared to hiding your feelings.
6. It’s okay to miss him
If you’re hesitating to confront your boyfriend because you feel you might never find someone like him, know that you can’t have your cake and eat it too.
It is unfair to your boyfriend and in no way will this situationship work out.
You have obviously reached a stage where you are not done exploring your options or he just doesn’t satisfy your needs 100%.
Either way, this person is not right for you if you are constantly wondering what other people are like.
Recognize the signs that this relationship is not meant to be.
When 2 people are in a loving and committed relationship, they are satisfied. They don’t want to date other people.
So, it’s okay to want to explore your options, but just don’t hold on to your boyfriend when you know he isn’t fulfilling your needs 100%.
7. Focus on self-love
If you are in a happy relationship and you genuinely aren’t satisfied, then perhaps you are trying to find yourself.
In this case, I would recommend that after you break up with your boyfriend, you avoid dating for a while so that you can focus on yourself.
This dating break actually does wonders for people who constantly find themselves in and out of relationships.
Being single is a blessing because it helps you realize what you truly want and need from a partner.
It also allows you to find yourself and realize what you’re truly looking for.
The reason that most people aren’t happy in their relationships and cannot pinpoint what is wrong is mainly that they just don’t know what they’re looking for.
In this case, I highly recommend getting to know yourself for a while and just being single for a bit before you start dating.
Here are a few other posts you may find helpful:
- How to patiently wait for love
- When is enough enough in a relationship? 17 signs it’s time to walk away
- 13 signs you are healing from a breakup
- 11 relationship killers to watch out for
- How to love yourself while you’re single
- How to stop letting things bother you
- The ultimate guide to getting over heartbreak and finding happiness again
- 35 honest ways to get your life together
- How to trust the process and just let go
- How to live alone and not be lonely
- How to let go of the past
- 15 ways to get a fresh start this year
- How to create a plan and stick to it