Last Updated on May 29, 2023 by Angela Vaz
My partner and I have been together for almost 2 years now.
And our taking stage went really, really well when we were dating.
I really took my time because it was fun and I honestly loved the feeling of getting to know a brand-new person.
The talking stage refers to the initial dating phase – where both of you are getting to know each other and you’re super curious about:
- What makes them tick
- What are their goals and values?
- Are you both compatible?
- Do you want the same things in life?
This is the stage that no couple must skip – because this will be the foundation of your relationship.
During this enchanting period, both of you will ask each other questions and the conversations will deepen as you get to know one another.
You should feel excited, happy, and super turned on.
With each conversation, you both peel back layers so that you get to know one another in stages.
If the talking stage goes well, it means that you can consider starting a loving and committed relationship with this person moving forward.
Cherish these moments because nothing quite compares to those beautiful first few months of getting to know one another.
I still replay the voice notes we sent each other while we were talking – it’s sweet and makes me smile.
In this post, I’ll talk about some of the signs that the talking stage is going well!
Let’s dive in.
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1. Your conversations are very engaging
I remember matching with my partner and thinking how fast time was flying.
We matched in the afternoon around 1:15 pm and we chatted till nearly 4:15 pm.
We couldn’t stop talking.
We spoke about everything from life to astrophysics and comic books. It was super thrilling.
I remember how I never wanted it to end.
If you both have engaging and stimulating conversations that flow effortlessly, know that you’ve got something good going on.
You have a strong intellectual connection and you have something really special with this person.
2. You both laugh a lot
If both of you are laughing frequently and you’re both comfortable making small jokes or poking each other – this is a good sign.
It means that you find each other’s humor delightful.
If both of you are able to create a positive and joyful environment – it means that the other person is pretty open-minded.
Laughing and joking around also means that you both are creating a bond and your emotional connection is getting stronger.
Laughing together will not only lighten the mood but is a huge stress reliever – so this is a very good sign that the talking stage is going well!
3. You’re able to talk to them easily
If the conversation flows easily and you both are super comfortable sharing things with each other – this is a good sign.
I remember speaking to a guy once who took offense for practically everything – needless to say, I wasn’t very comfortable talking to him.
If the conversation flows easily and there is no awkwardness – that’s a good sign.
If you feel comfortable expressing your thoughts, emotions, and stories without any pressure from their side and your partner is expressing the same level of comfort – then know that things are going well.
4. You both show a good interest in each other’s lives
This is something that you both need to do in order to maintain a good balance.
If both of you are showing a mutual interest in each other’s lives and you are genuinely interested in getting to know one another, then know that this is a good sign.
You should be asking each other questions like:
- What do you enjoy doing when you’re not working?
- Tell me about where you grew up. What was it like?
- Who’s your best friend and why do you love them?
- What’s something you’ve always wanted to do? What are some items on your bucket list?
Questions like this show that both of you are showing genuine curiosity and interest in each other’s lives.
5. Your conversations are deep
Too often we get swept up in the romance and sometimes the conversations never go beyond surface-level topics.
It’s very important to go a little deeper.
If both of you are delving into deeper discussions like talking about what’s important to you and discussing your values, your dreams, and aspirations – know that this is what good dating is!
It means that you’re really digging into each other’s wants and desires and this will also help you understand if you are compatible with each other.
Both my partner and I were looking for a strong relationship with someone who loved conversations.
We also both had a lot of love to give and were looking for a partner with whom we could have a lot of adventures.
6. You discover you share the same values
This is very important for any relationship to work.
Let’s say both of you want to travel and you’re both not interested in having children but having cats.
That’s a good sign – it means you both want the same things in life.
Let’s say both of you have a dream to start a restaurant and you both have this undying love for coffee – that’s a good dream!
This is not just a sign that the talking stage is going well, but it means that your values and beliefs align – and this is going to be a very strong foundation for your future together.
7. You both show each other a lot of respect
I have spent many hours being turned off by people and their lack of respect for my time.
I do not appreciate when people are late constantly for dates or say they’ll call and don’t.
I respect my partner a lot because from day 1 – he’s always been on time.
We would both arrive 15 minutes before the proposed time of our date – we would always call each other when we said we would and we both are extremely understanding when the other is busy.
All of these little things go a long, long way.
If your partner is respectful of your time and also is respectful of the way they communicate with you – this is a good sign.
Respect can mean a lot of things:
- They do not force you or pressurize you into physical acts of love – they ask for your consent
- They are respectful of your time and do not make you wait or ghost you.
- They are respectful towards you while you talk – they pay attention and make eye contact.
These are all signs that the talking stage is going really well.
8. You talk to each other consistently
If both of you are very consistent in your communication – it means the talking stage is going well.
If both of you are respectful towards each other and send texts when you’re going to be busy or check in with each other from time to time – that’s a good sign.
Regular and consistent communication means you both are showing mutual interest and you both are putting in an equal amount of effort to stay in touch and nurture the relationship.
9. You spend quality time with each other
Within 1-2 weeks – it’s important to set up a date.
Especially if both of you are in the same city and it’s not long-distance – do not delay that first meeting – because it’s important to meet physically and know where you stand.
Either way, quality time does mean something.
If both of you are spending time together (either virtually or in person), this means that you are both making an effort to spend quality time together.
10. You’re excited about future conversations
There is a balance of course between stalking and just being excited.
And if you are excited and you do think about this person a few times a day – know that your dating stage is going well!
This anticipation that both of you have between conversations is a good sign – it means that you are both putting in a lot of effort and genuinely like each other.
If you are eagerly looking forward to the next date just to meet them and talk to them – yes, things are going well!
11. There is a lot of openness
A lot of people close up when they’re not comfortable or don’t want to feel vulnerable.
But if you notice that this person has no trouble talking to you and is showing you very open body language, they’re comfortable around your presence.
It means that both of you are letting your guard down and you are having very authentic and honest conversations.
I remember 1 month into our conversations, they became very dark. We opened up a lot and discussed tough experiences in our past.
It didn’t feel strange – it felt sort of good to be able to open up and not be judged or not feel shameful.
I remember feeling liberated and relieved.
It felt good.
12. You are very supportive
If both of you are sharing your goals and aspirations with each other and both of you are encouraging each other and being super supportive – yes, the talking stage is going well.
It means that you genuinely are rooting for one another and you’re supportive of each other’s goals and dreams.
13. The silence is comfortable
More than conversations, if your silences are comfortable, then know that this too is a good sign.
I remember driving back on one of our dates and I was stuffing my face with cheesecake – we drove in silence for the most part but it was comfortable.
Even though both of us have anxiety and are overthinkers – it didn’t feel weird at all.
If your silences aren’t awkward but rather comfortable and you both can enjoy each other’s presence without feeling the need to fill every moment with words – you’ve found peace.
And peace is VERY, very important in a relationship.
Choose a partner with whom you can be at peace with.
There is nothing more important.
14. You both have shared interests
Please note that not every single hobby and interest needs to be shared.
A little diversity is good! In fact, I encourage you to go about it.
But a few shared interests mean that you both have something in common and you can spend a lot of time together doing those things.
For instance, both my partner and I love dogs – so we spend a lot of time playing with our dogs. We also love waking up early and we love trying out new cuisines – this helps us explore a lot of new adventures together!
Having a few common hobbies will really help both of you strengthen your bond and build a strong relationship together.
15. You have a mutual desire for growth
This is a fact not many people are aware of – everybody changes.
Sometimes people change together – and this means the relationship blossoms as you both evolve.
Sometimes, 1 person changes while the other does not.
In my first relationship, I changed.
I was insecure, childish, and naive – but as time went on, I changed.
My ex did not. He became an alcoholic and eventually ended up cheating on me. We did not grow together.
This is why it’s so important to date and pay attention to the red flags.
If both of you have this genuine desire to get better, a strong mutual drive to do more things (it doesn’t matter what you do), but both of you have this need to better yourselves – then you are a good match.
Relationships thrive when both people in the relationship want to get better and help each other grow – this is a sign of a stable and healthy relationship.
How long is a good talking stage?
There is no fixed number, but anywhere between a few weeks to 3 months is a reasonably good talking stage.
This is how long it will take to get to know someone and understand their goals and values. You’ll also get a feel of their personality and know if they are somewhat compatible with you.
Of course, it also depends on how much time you spend talking to them daily. If you’re spending 2-6 hours texting or talking – that’s quite alright.
Maybe you share stories about your past or talk about your dreams and ambitions- This is healthy.
Take your time to get to know this person you’re dating and don’t move forward till you feel comfortable doing so.
How do I stop overthinking in the talking stage?
Know that it’s okay to mess up.
This person you are talking to is human and so are you – neither of you is perfect.
You are both talking to each other to understand if there is compatibility and whether you both have the same goals and values. That’s all there is to it.
You’re getting a feel of one another and if both of you like what you’re seeing, you can move forward slowly.
There is no permanency in dating – you’re just feeling each other out at this point.
So, it’s very important to be yourself and not be someone else – this will help the other person get to know you better.
Dating is all about being vulnerable – you have to let your guard down a bit in order for the other person to get to know you.
Here are a few ways you can stop overthinking:
- Talk to someone you trust: In my case, I had my friends and aunt to talk to – it was nice. I liked talking about my dating life and I got very good feedback – this also allowed me to get out of my head.
- Write a journal: Writing really helps you put all of your thoughts into perspective – it gives you clarity. Even meditating helps.
- Remember it’s not a marriage: You are simply taking some time to get to know each other – this is the fun part of dating. You get to ask questions and answer a lot of questions yourself. It’s more like data collection than anything else.
- Be mindful of what you say: It takes time and practice to skip that awkward stage and become comfortable with someone new – so do be mindful of everything you’re saying and try to take it one step at a time.
- Remember they’re human: You both are getting to know one another because both of you want similar things. So, keep that in mind and remember that they’re human too – this will help you ease up a little.
Here are some posts you might find helpful:
- 17 Alarming Red Flags When Dating a Guy (You Need to Heed)
- 13 Clear Signs You Have a Sparkling Personality that People Love
- 17 Crystal Clear Signs You Will Never Find Love + How to Fix It
- Can a Guy Cheat But Still Love You? – My Personal Experience
- 11 Strange Reasons Why Guys Stare at You But Never Smile
- No One Compares to Your Ex: Here’s What You Should Do
- 17 Unmistakable Situationship Red Flags that You Should Heed
- Does Body Count Matter? Everything You Really Need to Know
- 24 Reasons + Ways to Develop a Bubbly Personality (+ Benefits)
- Finding Peace: How to Stop Thinking About Someone Who Hurt You
- How to Give Yourself Grace (When You Feel Low)
- 23 Unmistakable Signs He Doesn’t Want You Sexually + What to Do
- How to Glow Up After a Breakup – Here’s Everything I Did