Last Updated on July 10, 2023 by Angela Vaz

Is your girlfriend always tired?

You feel like she’s constantly on her last pip of battery.

And you cannot understand it.

She has no energy to do anything fun and she’s always saying she has no time or she’s exhausted.

What gives?

In this post, I’ll explain why your girlfriend is always tired and what you can do to remedy this situation.

Let’s dive in.

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Why is your girlfriend always tired or always sleepy?

If your girlfriend is genuinely always tired, yawning, or wants to sleep, then there could be many reasons behind this:

1. She isn’t getting enough sleep or her sleep quality is bad

she isn't getting enough sleep

It’s usually a little difficult to suddenly adjust to sleeping next to someone.

While I was single, my sleep hours and the quality of my sleep were very different but after sleeping next to my boyfriend, I had to adjust for sure.

It takes a while to get used to.

It could also be poor sleeping habits or she might just have insomnia. So, she may be lying awake trying to fall asleep, but not getting any.

Or she has very disrupted sleep where she’s constantly waking up.

All of these can leave her feeling constantly exhausted and drained.

Talk to her.

Ask her if she’s getting good sleep.

You can also try going to bed at a reasonable hour. And if nothing is working, please ask her to see a Sleep Doctor.

2. She is too stressed or anxious

she is too stressed or anxious

Mental and emotional stressors can take a huge toll on energy levels, leaving her drained and tired.

When a person is stressed, their mind and body can remain in a heightened state of alertness, making it very difficult for them to relax or fall asleep.

If she is experiencing a lot of stress, she is going to have difficulty falling asleep, insomnia, disrupted sleep, or restless sleep.

She may tell you about a lot of vivid dreams and nightmares.

Stress actually contributes to more vivid dreams or nightmares and this can disrupt her sleep leaving her tired and strained.

If you are noticing that she is up pretty much all the time and she may spend a lot of time in bed but is alert – then talk to her.

There are chances she’s just not getting good sleep.

3. She has work/study pressure

there is too much work or study pressure

If she is in a very stressful job or is studying a very heavy academic course, chances are her stress is due to that.

Again, the stress of work or academic responsibilities can trigger anxiety and worry. She may be taking a lot of tension because she wants to perform well and these anxious thoughts will keep her awake at night.

She may also be pushing herself to succeed and this can cause a busy and hectic schedule where she takes zero time to wind down or cool down.

Every person needs to relax.

And this lack of downtime can cause her to be super wound up and not sleep well.

If she’s facing a heavy workload or very demanding study schedules, she may need to work for longer hours, sacrificing rest and sleep.

This can lead to sleep deprivation – which will affect her overall sleep quality.

Either way, spend some time seeing her work hours.

If you genuinely feel she is pushing herself – talk to her.

Maybe both of you can pursue some relaxing activities every evening before sleeping.

You can try guided meditation, journaling or even taking a nice, quiet walk together.

My boyfriend used to have a very stressful job and sometimes, we’d play hoops when we got back from work.

It was relaxing.

You can even help her find a balance between work and academic responsibilities to take care of herself and prioritize sleep.

4. She isn’t getting good nutrition

she isn't eating healthy

Poor nutrition can have a significant impact on your girlfriend’s sleep. Let me explain:

  1. Imbalanced blood sugar levels: Consuming a diet high in refined carbohydrates and sugars can lead to fluctuations in blood sugar levels. These fluctuations can cause disruptions in her sleep, leading to difficulty falling asleep or waking up during the night.
  2. Nutrient deficiencies: Inadequate intake of essential nutrients like magnesium, calcium, and B vitamins can impact her sleep. These nutrients play crucial roles in regulating sleep patterns and promoting relaxation. Deficiencies in these nutrients can contribute to insomnia or restless sleep.
  3. Digestive discomfort: Consuming a diet high in processed or greasy foods can lead to digestive discomfort, such as acid reflux or indigestion. These issues can disrupt her sleep and cause discomfort throughout the night.
  4. Increased caffeine and stimulant intake: Poor nutrition may involve excessive consumption of caffeine, energy drinks, or stimulant-rich foods. These substances can interfere with her ability to fall asleep or stay asleep, leading to fragmented or disrupted sleep.
  5. Weight fluctuations: Poor nutrition can contribute to weight fluctuations, including weight gain or loss. These changes can lead to sleep disorders such as sleep apnea or insomnia, further affecting her sleep quality.

Overall, both of you must try to eat more whole foods.

Try making your meals at home from scratch using good, natural ingredients. Stay away from processed foods.

My boyfriend and I also ordered a lot of takeout.

It took us a while to get used to making our meals at home.

We started with 1-2 times a week and then slowly moved to almost every day. We now only eat outdoors 2 times a week.

Apart from eating at home, also help her drink a lot of water.

I notice that I feel very lethargic when I don’t consume adequate water.

5. She isn’t getting enough exercise

she isn't getting enough exercise

If your girlfriend leads a very sedentary lifestyle, chances are this is contributing to her fatigue.

Because she isn’t moving a lot, she may have reduced circulation and oxygen flow to her muscles and organs – this can contribute to lethargy and low energy levels.

If she doesn’t exercise or move a lot, this lack of physical activity may lead to muscle weakness and decreased stamina.

When a person’s muscles aren’t used regularly, they become less efficient at using energy – making everyday activities feel more tiring and exhausting.

Additionally, physical activity triggers the release of endorphins (feel-good hormones). Endorphins boost mood, reduce stress and increase energy levels. If she’s not exercising, the natural release of endorphins is reduced – leading to lower energy levels.

Yes, I was one of those people.

But watching my boyfriend constantly play sports, exercise, and swim, I developed the exercise bug too.

My energy levels practically shot up after 1-2 months of constant exercise. I look better and feel better!

Encourage your girlfriend to incorporate some sort of physical activity into her routine like walking, jogging, or some form of her favorite exercise.

6. She has hormonal fluctuations

she has hormonal fluctuations

If your girlfriend is displaying unusual forms of lethargy and tiredness, chances are she has PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome).

It’s nothing to be alarmed about, it’s actually quite common.

Certain hormone-related conditions like PCOS or thyroid conditions can cause hormonal imbalances and yes – these can result in tiredness.

PMS also causes fatigue – especially in the days leading up to the period.

If she’s pregnant, then the hormone fluctuations causing the tiredness are normal. Hormonal changes during pregnancy such as increased levels of progesterone and changes in thyroid hormone production can lead to fatigue. This is because the body’s energy resources are directed towards supporting the growing fetus which can result in a constant feeling of tiredness.

If she is going through menopause, her body may be undergoing significant hormonal shifts, including a decrease in estrogen and progesterone and these can disrupt sleep patterns and contribute to feelings of fatigue and daytime tiredness.

Moreover, if she’s taking birth control pills or has an IUD – even these can impact hormone levels.

My best suggestion is to consult a doctor – especially if the lethargy and tiredness are more than normal.

A doctor can take her blood test and analyze what is the real reason why she is so tired.

7. She may have a chronic illness

she may have a chronic illness

Chronic illness is more common than you think.

If she has ongoing inflammation, this can activate the immune system and release chemicals that promote fatigue and feelings of exhaustion.

Chronic illness can also disrupt sleep patterns. Pain, discomfort, or medication side effects can make it very difficult for her to get a good night’s sleep.

If she has a lot of pain, muscle weakness, or gastrointestinal issues, coping with these symptoms requires extra energy and this can make her feel tired.

In this case, if she’s already doing everything to accommodate her symptoms and is consulting a doctor – the only thing you can do is be more patient and do everything you can to alleviate her symptoms.

By offering her help with the house chores and letting her sleep when she wants to – you’re doing a lot.

8. She may be taking certain medications

she may be taking certain medications

I have very bad allergies.

And my medication makes me insanely drowsy.

So, if she’s taking antihistamines or antidepressants, chances are she is feeling tired all the time.

These medications can affect the central nervous system and induce drowsiness or sleepiness, leading to fatigue.

Some medications can also affect energy metabolism or interfere with the body’s ability to produce or utilize energy.

In this case, you’ll just have to be patient and understanding.

You can help her consult a doctor who can offer medication with fewer side effects but other than that, there’s not much you can do.

9. She may just be emotionally exhausted

she may be emotionally exhausted

I remember feeling horrible after my mom passed away.

I would sleep for hours just to kill time because it was very hard to get used to a life without her in my world.

Emotional exhaustion can contribute to tiredness quite directly. Here’s how:

  • Mental/emotional strain: If she’s taking stress for the most part of the day, then this can drain her energy reserves, leading to tiredness.
  • Cognitive overload: Emotional exhaustion can impair her cognitive function, including her memory, attention and her decision making abilities.
  • Reduced motivation and enjoyment: If she is emotionally tired, she may be more stressed and find less pleasure in activities both of you enjoyed before. Even her daily tasks and routines will feel more burdensome and draining.

Overall, give her time. Be understanding.

It’s very important that you address her emotions and help her manage her exhaustion so that she can improve her well-being and heal.

If you’ve tried talking to her and you feel her mental health isn’t improving, try coaxing her to seek therapy.

Therapy will really help her.

Apart from this, encourage her to make friends and have her little getaways.

Coax her to meet her friends every once in a while – that social interaction will help her a lot.

How do I comfort my tired girlfriend?

1. Just listen

just listen

You have no idea how comforting it is for a girl to talk to her boyfriend when he listens patiently.

It is honestly the best gift you can give her.

Take the time to actively listen to her when she talks about being tired.

Instead of immediately jumping to a solution – just hear her out.

Listen to her challenges – show empathy and validate her feelings without judgment.

Sometimes, just by having you to vent to, you are automatically providing her with intense relief.

I’m not kidding.

I feel energized when my boyfriend hears me out – it’s very soothing.

2. Offer to help her

offer to help her

After you’re done listening, offer to help her.

You can take over certain chores in the house especially if she’s overworked and has no time to do the dishes or fold the laundry.

Simply take the load off her shoulders by running some errands.

Maybe you can go buy groceries or you can help her cut some vegetables.

I feel taken care of when my boyfriend offers to take the dogs out or cut the vegetables.

These small gestures of helping her prepare a meal or running an errand can make such a huge difference and help her take some much-needed rest.

3. Encourage her to take care of herself

encourage her to take care of herself

In general, women often don’t prioritize self-care.

They’re always worried about taking care of everyone else in the house.

Show her that you’re okay – that you can take care of yourself and encourage her to do the same.

Remind her of the importance of self-care – tell her she cannot take care of everyone without taking care of herself first.

Ask her to prioritize her self-care.

Encourage activities that help her relax like taking a bath, reading a book, going for a long walk, or doing something she loves.

Remember all the activities she loves doing to relax – maybe she draws or plays music or she loves playing a sport.

Push her to do more of that.

Support her in setting aside dedicated time for self-care activities.

4. Creating a soothing environment

create a soothing environment

Help create a peaceful and calming environment before bed.

Dim the lights, play some soft music, or light a candle.

All of this will help her wind down and promote relaxation and better sleep.

I light a candle and dim the lights before going to bed. My boyfriend and I read for a bit before we shut off the lights and it really helps us wind down and relax.

5. Offer a massage

offer a massage

I understand that doing this every day might be challenging.

But offer every once in a while.

Physical touch can be incredibly comforting and relaxing.

Offer to give her a soothing massage or simply hold her hand.

Give her gentle kisses and hold her before bed.

All of this will help release tension and promote a sense of comfort and security.

6. Encourage her to sleep better

encourage her to sleep better

It takes a lot of practice and discipline for a couple to sleep early. We tend to fool around a lot before bed or just get lost on our own devices.

One trick that’s helped us is to keep our phones outside the bedroom – that way, we’re only reading before bed.

You can encourage her to have a good bedtime by going to bed early.

Ensure that the room is dark by getting black-out curtains and lowering the temperature.

Encourage her to avoid stimulating activities before bed and try meditating or deep breathing.

7. Be patient

be patient with her

None of this will change her lifestyle in a day.

It takes time.

My boyfriend and I had very erratic sleep schedules. My boyfriend would consume about 9 cups of coffee a day and sleep only 2-3 hours a night.

He was a workaholic.

I slowly got him to sleep 7-8 hours a day.

It took me a year to do this.

And now we sleep at 8 pm and wake up by 3:45 am.

Not for work or anything else, just because we love having our quiet morning time. We love waking up when everyone else is asleep.

I hope this post helped you understand why your girlfriend is always tired and what you can do to help her.

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Angela is a 30 year old Illustrator and Blogger living with her 2 adorable labradors in Bangalore, India. She has a degree in Psychology and Human Relationships from the University of Toronto. When she's not writing her heart out or drawing, you'll find her sipping chai and reading non-fiction books.

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